Guys, do you think this is the best way to say goodbye and stop the relationship?

I've been seeing this guy for half a year and we've enjoyed the moment we're together. He's never committed himself with this relationship, neither he asked me to do so. I wasn't cool about this initially, but I decided to let time roll and see what will turn up in the end. So far we have been spending time and true to each other. I mean, though we have a pact to date anyone we like, but we haven't done such thing. It seems to be enough just us. We have never said that we love each other. We just 'like' the time we are together. But I think it's reasonable enough for someone not to put a name on something supposedly grand at this short a time. On my part, I've been avoiding to call this love as well. But I know I do love him. You know... women.

The situation is: I must leave the country in two weeks. My visa doesn't expire yet, but my funding for the study was cut. So this is my last month stay I can afford. He doesn't know this and has always expected that we can be together for at least another five years. I didn't know about this cutting beforehand as well. That's why I don't know what is the best way to break the news. And since I must leave the country and he has shown sign to commit to this relationship, despite the happiness we share together, I think I should stop this relationship altogether.

So I think I will tell him in my last week during our last meet. Usually we just spend time eating and chillaxing at the flat, then to bed. So I guess the best way possible is to tell him after the meal. I plan to tell him that I must leave and to wish him best of luck in finding another girl. I don't have any plan to discuss whether we should carry on with this relationship, because it surely means nothing when we are apart. And I think he thinks the same. What do you think?
typo: 'he has not shown sign to commit to this relationship...'


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you're approaching this very logically and recognize had there been something between the two of you that made you both want to really work on being together permanently, you two could and may have made that happen.

    You're smart in recognizing the logistical impossibility for even trying to maintain any sort of romantic relationship, unless he's retired and has loads of money, where he can travel at will.

    I've been around people I really like and even love, where they made me comfortable and all, but I never could commit to them completely. Then I met my wife, where it was very easy after I knew she was the one for me.

    I'm sure he'll be upset, but the sooner you tell him the better, and it's a good idea to tell him in person. I also think he'll completely understand.

    Good luck,


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I think you have the right idea. Make sure your last day together is something he will remember forever then break the news.

    Hope things works out well.

  • Are you sure you want to give up love and happiness?

    • Well, I have to. It's necessary. And I cannot see any other means and purpose to carry on with this relationship as well.

    • Partly because I don't know if he loves me or not. And I don't think it is a good time to ask him as well. It hurts me very much to leave him. I don't know if it will hurt him too. But he should be fine with this, I think.

    • Then, I guess my advice to you would be, think long and hard, because regret is... not great.
      But, you gotta do what you gotta do

Recommended myTakes