Whyyy am I having such a hard time getting over a guy I've only dated for a few weeks (who is also acting like a jerk now)?

I don't understand what's going on with me. I don't usually fall that easily. Hell, I think I haven't been in love in at least 3 years. I enjoy being single. I am perfectly happy without a guy. At least I thought so until I met him...

Rationally, I am well aware that I hardly know him, so I can't possibly be in love with him. It's ridiculous. But there is something about the way he made me feel, it just makes me long for more. Suddenly, not having a relationship isn't ok for me anymore.

I gotta admit I have commitment-issues. So my dating history was basically this: either the guy was honestly interested in me, then I would get scared and run off. Or the guy was just after sex, and I would (with very few exceptions) turn him down. There were a few guys I was actually interested in, but those were always the ones I knew I couldn't have (usually they were taken). So I kept my heart safe by only liking guys I knew I would never end up in a relationship with.

Then I met him, and everything changed. I don't know how he did it. He was totally into me at the beginning, but unlike before, I didn't run. I liked that he was the perfect gentleman, somewhat shy, respected my boundaries, treated me like I was the only girl in the world and just made me feel very special. He looked at me with so much love in his eyes, wanted to cuddle all the time, and geez I just loved his tender kisses that usually ended with an eskimo kiss and more looking deeply into my eyes. When we were out with his friends, he treated me like his gf, yet he kept saying that it would be too early to get serious (agreed, probably the reason why I didn't run for the hills).

I hadn't felt that comfortable and happy around a guy since my 5-year relationship, and that was 7 years ago... Then suddenly, he didn't wanna see me anymore. No idea why. It's so annoying that I just can't get over it. It was only 3 weeks and 7 dates. I feel so silly, but I miss him every day, and I just wanna feel that way again.


Most Helpful Guy

  • That's very strange, there are some details left out that ought to be included because just leaving without any closure is why you're still confused. Closure is important and I understand what it's like to be left hanging without it.

    You're having a hard time because you're a human being with feelings. There's nothing wrong with you and only the passage of time will help you get over this.

    • Thank you! That's probably it, I didn't get closure. I just want to understand what made him switch so suddenly from being all into me to not wanting to see me again. But then again, can you ask for closure after only casually dating for 3 weeks? He doesn't really owe me any explanation at such an early stage of a relationship, does he?

    • In my opinion, you deserve closure and he should give it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I mean, he gave you no reason at all. Just one day 'poof! he's gone? Maybe you met the male version of you.

    • That sounds spot on... Not like guys to run unless commitment scares them

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    • oh shit! i didn't get that part. You told him you didn't want to be "tied down"? wow, well for most guys "tied down" is usually code for "not too interested". You essential expressed to him your not interested in investing in whatever you two had.

      Poor guy must be confused as shit and really hurt, especially after you told him you liked him. Well, maybe leave him alone. Sounds like he was really into you at some point.
      Good luck with everything, i run into alot' of women with commitment issues like you. Very difficult to get close to and engage.

    • Wow really, that's code for "not too interested"? But I mean, it was my response to him saying it would be too early to get serious. So what's a girl supposed to answer to that? Had I said I did want something serious after he just told me it was too early, he would have been scared. And if I tell him I don't wanna tie him down, that's wrong, too? Holy cow...

      Also, this conversation happened at the end of our 3rd date, and there were 4 more dates after that, so that can't be the reason he ran off.

What Girls Said 1

  • Desperate for attention maybe.


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