This girl friendzoned me a little while ago. In spite, i told her, i don't accept the friendship and that she had the option of contacting me in the future if she ever changed her mind. In part, it was true; but how i brought it forward was inauthentic and spiteful. Since then, i've felt guilty over it. Not guilty over declining her gift of friendship, but guilty about how i handled the whole thing; how i conducted myself. I did it out of hatred, and spite because she denied me what I longed for. I still don't accept the friendship, but the way i treated her was uncalled for. I can't help how she feels about me, but i can help how i feel about the situation; how i treat her. I was butt-hurt, and my ego was wounded, and she didn't deserve how i treated her. No one does.
My question to all you out there. I want to apologise for my behaviour, but after so long, I'm not sure if it is feesible. Note that i'm not wanting to accept the friendship, but wanting to apologise for how i conducted myself. The undeserved hurt that I put her through, just because feelings weren't mutual. But, is it right?
Most Helpful Guy
You were hurt and a bit angry, so your response is understandable. Sure, you've now learned it's probably better to control your emotions and bite your tongue if you have to before you say something you wish you hadn't. But what's done is done and I'd bet she also understood you were just hurt at her rejection of being more than friends.
Enough time has passed where you could write or call her and tell her exactly what you wrote for us about you being butt-hurt your ego was wounded and you regret letting your emotions take over as you respect her and didn't feel what you said was necessary. It's a bit funny and self-disciplining while also sincere.
I wouldn't tell her you still don't want to be friends, because if you don't, then maybe just forget the whole apology and move on. But, sometimes true closure can come from clearing your conscious and apology might make you feel better.1