Should I apologize?

This girl friendzoned me a little while ago. In spite, i told her, i don't accept the friendship and that she had the option of contacting me in the future if she ever changed her mind. In part, it was true; but how i brought it forward was inauthentic and spiteful. Since then, i've felt guilty over it. Not guilty over declining her gift of friendship, but guilty about how i handled the whole thing; how i conducted myself. I did it out of hatred, and spite because she denied me what I longed for. I still don't accept the friendship, but the way i treated her was uncalled for. I can't help how she feels about me, but i can help how i feel about the situation; how i treat her. I was butt-hurt, and my ego was wounded, and she didn't deserve how i treated her. No one does.

My question to all you out there. I want to apologise for my behaviour, but after so long, I'm not sure if it is feesible. Note that i'm not wanting to accept the friendship, but wanting to apologise for how i conducted myself. The undeserved hurt that I put her through, just because feelings weren't mutual. But, is it right?


1|0
16

Most Helpful Guy

  • You were hurt and a bit angry, so your response is understandable. Sure, you've now learned it's probably better to control your emotions and bite your tongue if you have to before you say something you wish you hadn't. But what's done is done and I'd bet she also understood you were just hurt at her rejection of being more than friends.

    Enough time has passed where you could write or call her and tell her exactly what you wrote for us about you being butt-hurt your ego was wounded and you regret letting your emotions take over as you respect her and didn't feel what you said was necessary. It's a bit funny and self-disciplining while also sincere.

    I wouldn't tell her you still don't want to be friends, because if you don't, then maybe just forget the whole apology and move on. But, sometimes true closure can come from clearing your conscious and apology might make you feel better.

    1|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I guess you should ignore her.. let her live her life and you live yours but not before apologising.
    And move on
    Be happy
    Live your life..
    There might be hundreds of other girls in your buddy list who might have crush on you.

    Apologise once it will make you feel like a good person and move on because life is full of adventures you will never know what may happen next.

    2|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 5

  • Apologize for her it won't cost you money, admitting your mistakes and apologizing about them won't lower your position as some people think p, instead it will show that you are a civilized person.

    I don't know why you don't accept the friendship, if she wants to friend zone you then it's her right and it's very understanding. Don't expect that every girl you will meet your life would take you out from the friend zone it's very normal and understandable... Don't take it personally

    0|0
    0|0
    • I declined her friendship because my interest in her was romantic, not platonic. And was so from the start. I had no intention of being just her buddy. Accepting the friendship would've been as good as saying "I'm only your friend because i want to get in your pants."- it's deceitful.

      We wanted different things. I can't force her to accept my invitation, she has to decide it on her own. I decided i didn't want to be just friends, because i know the pain involved with being friends with someone you are romantically interested in.

    • so I take it that you want to stay away from her because you have feelings for her and she hasn't, so you want to distance yourself because you don't wanna be hurt and embarrassed am I right?

    • You pretty much nailed it mate. But in the process of distancing myself, I ended up hurting her. At least, i'm sure i did. There is no way to distance yourself without someone getting hurt, but I could've at least been honest and authentic in the words. Which i wasn't. They were words repeated from someone who gave me advice about the situation. They weren't my own.

  • I think you should apologizE. it'll be worth it. personally, I'll hate to die knowing I made someone feel such way and had the chance to fix it but chose not to

    0|0
    0|0
  • no it serves her right

    0|0
    0|0
  • I actually don't think you did anything that warrants an apology. You didn't insult her, call her names, or do anything disrespectful. You told her the truth, and you were as civil as you could be at the time. If it makes you feel better to apologize, go ahead, but I don't think her feelings were hurt at all. I'm sure she has had much worse reactions from guys she rejected.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You got balls for standing up for what you want, and not accepting her terms, good for you.
    If you feel bad how you handled it, definitely apologize if it will give you some peace of mind, could be some good karma too

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...