Girls, need advice on dealing/reconnecting with my ex gf?

So my ex gf and I broke up little over a month ago. We were together for 4 years and she ended it because she didn't feel like she was getting enough affection from me even tho she asked me a few times to give her more affection. She said because of that and the fact that she put all her happiness into our relationship she feels like she lost her confidence and wanted space to find it again on her own. At first I thought with emotion and tried to change her mind but then I gave her the space she asked for. Two and half weeks went by and she texted me on a Friday night saying she missed me a lot and thought about me all the time. She asked if we could meet up and see each other. I agreed and we just talked and caught up, hugged and she ati said she was angry about how I didn't listen to her when she asked for more affection. That night ended and she said loved me. A few days went by and she started to text me and the conversation was funny (a lot of lols and lmaos from her) ... again few days went by and I did not initiate any contact and she would text me "miss u" ... today is Friday and at the beginning of this week she called me and I was in the gym and I texted her asking if the call was a mistake and she said no and asked if she could call me and I said yes. She called me crying saying she didn't know what she was doing with herself and she was all upset. I was calm cool and collective and she asked how was I being so "ok" and asked if I was talking to someone else. We talked and I got her to calm down and she ended the call by reassuring me that she loved me. The next day she texted me asking if we could go for a walk this weekend if it is nice out and I said sure. Just wondering thoughts and opinions on her actions and how I should act. Is this just a moment of weakness from her or is it sincere? I was thinking of writing two notes to give to her when I see her. 1. A list of this things I miss/love about her and 2. Reasons why she should be confident in herself


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Do you love this girl and are willing to be with her? I think she really love you a lot. She is right your not putting much affection. If you want her or love her like you said then you would call her and text her not the other way around you should be the one texting her I miss you and stuff like that she broke up with you I don't know why is she telling you all that. She Ioves you a lot and doesn't want to let you go. Just text her your thinking about her throughout the day tell her you miss her and love her and why. The letter is good just that if you wait a while to give it to her then she might just think your not being that affectionate. But yeah just remind her things like that.

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    • I completely agree... but I just wanted to show her that I was respecting her wish for some space to find her confidence

    • She doesn't need space the looks of it she want attention affection show her you love her remind her you love her tell her things you would tell her when you first got together. Remind her there still hope for that relationship and your not giving up. She just wants to feel loved by you she wants to know you still have that passion. My say just disobey what she says and you say what you feel I don't think she wanted space she just giving seeing if there still hop for it to go any further. Also she doesn't want to get hurt again.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think she is sincere. She is hoping you'll make a move or do something to show you are in love with her and that the feelings she has are shared by you. She gets upset when she likely has a moment of thinking you're not that into her. I really like your note idea. That is so cute and romantic. You should do it :)

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    • Thank you! She really liked the notes and thanked me for them.

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    • So her and I met up an talked. She expressed a major concerns of hers and I listened and told her how I felt and tried to reassure her I wasn't passionate about the relationship to waste her time or my time... she told me she loved me and asked me to be patient which I thought was good and then we hugged and kissed and said I love you to each other so I guess I just need to listen to her and be patient until she's comfortable and back up my words through actions

    • Her actions sound positive. I think you could get her back by just doing what she says which is being patient for now :)

  • I think the notes are a very good idea !! She needs reassuring how you feel about her. If you love her then don't be afraid to chase her. Be the first to make contact, plans etc until she feels reassured of how you feel again. Because you are remaining calm , cool and collected it is giving her the feeling you can take it or leave it and she is wanting to know you need / want her as much as she needs/ wants you! It could be insecurities , but no matter... if you truly love her and don't want to lose her for good go all out to show her !

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  • She's realised that those things could be fixed. She's given you a fright. My ex got back with me because he said he was weak. Not very nice. If ur getting back with someone it's because ur strong and want the relationship to work xxxx

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  • It sounds like when she broke up with you she wanted you to chase her to show her just how much you really love, because talking about affectionate behavior while in a relationship is a bit harder than it seems.

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    • Also I think those notes would really enforce what she was /is looking for

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