My ex came to get his things today after being split up and not seeing each other 1.5 months. Already has a new girlfriend but?

My ex came yesterday to finally get his things moved out of my place. The last month of our relationship was pretty bad with the break up and everything. After breaking up, I did blow him up and acted kinda crazy. Sending texts or calling. I never went to his place or anything like that though. Anyway. I had most of everything outside for when he got there. He came with his mother and her friend because they were traveling through on their way to the Price Is Right. I carried what was left from my porch to put it in the trunk. His mother hugged me right off the bat and gave me some stuff of mine that she had. I spoke to her for a little bit while he was loading the stuff. As soon as he saw me, he yelled at me for carrying what I had because I had sprained my wrist. He asked how I was doing. Asked about my dog. I just kept my cool. Trying not to cry and barely answered him. I moreless ignored him. Well his mother and her friend got into the car and he came up to me and hugged me. We ended up talking for 15 minutes or so. He told me that the last month of the relationship he was falling out of love with me and he tried to fix it bit I didn't see it (he didnt). He said that I pushed him away at the end by asking too many questions and not giving his space when we first decided to take a break. Anyway. I did end up crying the entire time. He looked me in the eyes the entire time, was conisiderate, was everything that he never was before with me. Well at the end of the relationship. I needed this conversation months ago. I told him that I still loved him and wanted another chance and he told me that right now, he doesn't see us working. That at this point in our lives were like fire and gasoline and that he is with someone else and he is very happy. He said that you never know what could happen in the future. He said that he would keep in touch to make sure I am ok and so we could finish our talk at a later date and hugged me again... Why was he so nice?

Updates:
Was he being nice because he really does see me in his future? I just don't understand why he had to keep hugging me and acting understanding...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He may have fallen out of love with you, but that doesn't mean he lost all feelings for you. I'm sure he really cares about you, but somewhere inside of him, he realized the relationship between the two of you wasn't working out for him.

    I commend him for being honest with you, which is hard to do, and that's also hard for you to hear; especially when you're still processing everything that just happened. I do think it's strange he's already madly in love and says he's happy, but everybody's different, and there' s no point in trying to figure out why he jumped into something so fast. My ex fiance did that and he was the greatest thing since the invention of the light bulb (made me feel like a real champ). She married the guy, but they're already separated and have been for a few years. Guess he wasn't so "wonderful" after all.

    Anyway, these things are going to happen and sometimes great relationships run their course, sputter and ultimately fail. Give yourself some time and try and accept he may never call back. I think down the road, you won't even want him back, as you will probably have moved on with someone else who makes you really happy.

    Cheer up; it's not the end of the world, and at least he's amicable and not mean to you. You'll be fine, just hang in there.

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    • I just don't understand why he would say anything about a future. Being nice is one thing, but the excessive hugs, grabbing my hand telling me he will be in touch, making it a point to tell me more than once how much he cared about me and wanted me to be happy and even said 'if I didn't care about you, I wouldn't be standing here talking to you and being here for you'...

    • I understand that, as his actions were misleading. He's trying to comfort you and let you know he still cares, but he did make the decision to end things, so I can see why you'd be confused over him grabbing you and hugging you.

      If he does try and "stay in touch" I think you're better off saying, I appreciate that, but I will be alright and need to move on just as you have. If he let you go, then he needs to let you go, and I wouldn't like the mixed messages he's sending either.

      When I break up with someone, I usually don't want to be their best buddy. I need time to heal and get over things. If down the road, my feelings have moved on, then I have no problem saying hi and catching up, but if it's over, to me that means it's over.

    • Yeah, the mixed signals are what's killing me. I'm not sure why he would have to say the things he did knowing that it would hurt me more. The hugs and promising to keep in touch... wrong.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If i was in that position acting in that manner... i would do it because i would know that i would want to come back later in life because i felt like i could not handle it at the moment... I needed to be more "mature" for the relationship to work.

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What Girls Said 4

  • break ups are always hard, it sucks when they come to pick up their stuff, but just because you are broken up doesn't mean they still don't care.

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  • Because he doesn't bear you any ill will.

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  • He was being nice

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  • I wouldn't read too much into his behavior. He is with someone else now and it's possible he only told you that there might be more in the future as means of consolation. You need to not be fixated on his words and read too much into them. I know it's tempting, but don't do it. You should try to move on as quickly as possible and not hope that he will be back. Also, no contact, not at all. No matter why you want to contact him or what you think you have to say to him.

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