Why can't I stop being jealous?

I am still jealous of my ex H going to masssage parlors and getting rubbed and washed by middle aged whores. The only time i can stop thinking about is when i do what those women did to my EX to other men. But other then my jealousy comes back. This happened many months ago and i just couldn't get over the fact why he would want old women to wash and rub his ass and genitals. It had a big impact on me, since i have never done such things to him back them but they have been doign so VERY often. So i got very angry and raided all of their places and i still continue doing so. We are divorced now but i still don't get it...


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What Guys Said 1

  • By raiding their places you mean you physically went there and destroyed their belongings?

    Anyway, jealousy is normal, all it means is that you still care for him, even if you don't want to. It will fade over time like most things will.

    • No, i reported them to Police and they sorted it out. Not all got closed tough i think. I don't care for him it just makes me jealous.

    • Oh, I see what you mean now. When you said whores I assumed you were just calling them names because you hated them, didn't realise they were actually whores lol (plus the fact that prostitution is legal in my country so the thought wouldn't have occured to me either way).

      If you didn't have feelings for him you wouldn't be jealous. I'm sorry but it's the truth.

    • No, it kind of pisses me off that they washed and rubbed his sack and butt. It hurt my ego because they were older than me.

What Girls Said 1

  • i think it's normal to feel the way you do. I'm pretty sure everyone would be upset, confused, hurt and angry if something like this happened to them. When I found out that my ex went to whores before he met me, it took me some time to get over it. Note: he did that BEFORE we even met and yet it bothered me. So I can imagine how terrible it must be when your husband does it to you.

    Like I say, it will take time. You might never get it, but with time it will bother you less and less. I could tell you that rationally you shouldn't be jealous (and you really shouldn't, you should feel sorry for both the whores and your husband), but I know that when it's about jealousy/anger, our rationality doesn't work.

    • I would be happier if he just had normal sex with them, at least it would be forgettable, but he actually went there to get his ass and sack washed and rubbed. It gives me creeps because i imagine some old lady washing/rubbing his butt. I don't know why tough, it drives me crazy. I have been called childish and even crazy by some men but i can't help the way i feel about this.

    • I understand. Again, it's a normal reaction really. You find out that someone you trusted and thought was close to you had this certain kind of "fetish" that he hid from you, so it makes you feel shit, confused, angry and disgusted. In a way, it's like a betrayal. I'd feel the same if I found out that my boyfriend goes to whores to have those kind of things done. I'd pretty much question everything he's ever told me or we did together. I don't think you're crazy or childish at all. Your feelings are entirely normal to most of us.

    • By betrayal I mean that it's more than just "regular cheating" insofar as he never told you about this... shall we call it preference... he has, and never asked you to do it but preferred to keep it a secret and get it done by old women for money.

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