How do you stop thinking about what could have been?

Basically, I was seeing a guy for a while and it ended badly. But I can't stop thinking about what could have been and it's seriously bugging me. I've been trying to focus on why things ended the way they did and find some reason for me to believe it NEVER would have worked, even if those things didn't happen, but it's not working. This happened about 6 months ago by the way.

By the way, thanks to everyone who answered, you all had really good advice


Most Helpful Guy

  • Time, eventually you'll forget him, and meet someone new

    • Thanks, hopefully it doesn't take too long

Most Helpful Girl

  • I know 6 months feels like a long time but likely you're just not done healing yet. That can sometimes take years unfortunately. Also it's probably going to happen from time to time that you'll think about what could have been. The thing is it just becomes more tolerable with time. Have you been seeing other guys in the mean time? Or was he your most recent love interest? I've found that meeting a new guy and falling in love with someone else always replaces the love I used to have for some other guy.

    • He was the last person I had a love interest in, but he's the only person it's ended badly with so I thought it could be the reason it's taking so long. I'll definitely try to find someone else to focus on. Thanks 😊

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What Guys Said 3

  • You have to move on, find a hobby, or even better, meet new guys.
    The same thing happened to me and I was close to 2 years regretting not doing better and thinking of what could have been, dreaming of how I would do it if I had a second chance. It did nothing good to me, actually it just got me depressed and feeling shitty every day.
    I tend to over think stuff, so to me it's hard to stop thinking about one thing, but I've noticed that meeting new people and having fun keeps me away from those thoughts; the moment I sit down and do nothing, I go back to thinking that.

    • Yeah, I tend to spend a lot of time analysing the s**t things when I'm alone, it's just what I do.

  • We have all been there at some stage... you just have to push on, keep yourself busy and keep meeting new people

    • Pushing is bad and doesn't work she needs to accept the fact that she will never find out what could of happened and that she doesn't know who she will connect with next time the

    • Show All
    • Thanks

    • Your welcome

  • By distracting yourself like going to the gym from time to time, hanging out with your friends more often and doing or trying new activities you haven't done before.


What Girls Said 2

  • Set deadlines for decisions.

    Instead of thinking about something for days, tell yourself that you have for example 30 minutes to think. Then you will make a decision. If you overthink things you may overcomplicate them. And so you become nervous and start to second guess yourself all the time. It also becomes harder to focus on doing something when you have a have a habit of thinking a lot. You may often slip into possible future scenarios in your mind instead just focusing on what you are doing right now.

    • Thanks 😊 I'll give it a go

  • By accepting that you will never know what could of been and that you don't know who you will feel connect with next

    • Yeah, I've been trying to accept its never going to happen, really hope it doesn't take years.

    • By the way do you have any tips to help accept it's never going to happen?

    • Yes , wonder about the next guy