Should I feel bad? Was I really that horrible?

I met this guy through a friend and we really hit it off. We only talked online because he was busy and hung out twice. We talked for two months and discussed having feelings for each other. He ended it with me because he felt like I wouldn't sleep with him anytime soon and he thought he would resent me. His ex used to not have sex with him. I had panic attacks after and was trying to explain to him what was going on with me. He ignored me because he thought I was mad. I asked our mutual friend to talk to him and she refused. They both ignored me for months and yet kept talking to each other. My friend complained about being in a sexless relationship with her bf. She had never complained about that to me. 3 months later he tells me that he likes my friend. They both tell me I have no reason to be mad. This woman was my friend of 14 years. she made fun of me for being depressed. She told the guy I ended the friendship because I told her it was either me or him. It's a lie because I tried talking to her after about being sick and she told me she wanted nothing to do with me. They both ignore me and say I can't be trusted. I know nothing is black and white but do I sound like the bad person here? I don't get why they treat me like I'm such a bitch.
Thanks to everyone who helped!
Any more opinions?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Why should you feel bad. First of all, fuck your "friend" for making fun of your depression. Depression is very serious and I know first hand how debilitating it can be.

    As far as the guy you were interested in, being around someone for the first time and not being ready for sex is VASTLY different than having been in a long term relationship where there's no sex at all. His logic is flawed and he's being a jackass that should just go get a nut with someone who doesn't give a shit.

    I'd count your blessings you're not with either of those people and stop beating yourself up. Keep healthy boundaries and set the rules of what YOU are willing to accept and not accept. If you're not ready for sex with someone, then they can accept that or move on. Simple as that. You're worth more than being manipulated by some asshole.

    • I had panic attacks after he ended it with me and I would send a lot of msgs. My friend told me I messed things up with him because of my anxiety and now it's her turn with him.

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    • I'm trying to get better. They would ignore me telling me they didn't know how to answer me. I felt like a fool

    • Well, you're not a fool and that sounds pretty insensitive of them. That's why support groups are so great, because you're around people who've experienced much of what you have. Whether it's people online or group therapy, it's important to surround yourself with friends who either know first hand what you're dealing with, or at least have the compassion to know we're not all perfect and not just making shit up for attention.

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What Guys Said 1

  • In all honesty I don't think you're in the wrong in this situation, it was mainly due to his insecurities through past experiences that brought upon this situation, and your ex friend didn't help any better. Just because you don't have sex in a relationship, doesn't mean that the relationship is destined to fail. There is far more to love than sex, and if he couldn't understand that, than it is his loss not yours.


What Girls Said 2

  • Well, from what u said, u r not the bitch, they r. People of a kind fall into a group.. Why bother, u know u r a good girl who ve been treated unfairly. U should feel happy, through this thing u figure out she is the friend or enemy. The girl is so mean and wicked, feel bad for u. Leave them alone.

    • Thanks! I know things aren't black and white. It's not that they have feelings that's the problem it's how they treated me for months that was the issue. They just keep blaming it on me.

  • I'm confused. You talked on line a bunch and hung out twice, then started to have deep feelings for him? I'm sorry, but that's just not possible. You have to spend quite a bit of time with someone in order to have real feelings for them. You said he needed it because he felt you would never sleep with him, then he said he likes your friend. Good riddance to him! You dodged a jerk. As for the friend. She sounds horrible! Let them both go and move on. Neither of them are worth your time or energy. Any man worth having will treat you with respect. Any friend worth having will treat you with love. Don't let this stress you out. You're better off without them.

    • We had met before we talked. We would talk online for hours everyday for 2 months. He seemed perfect. I wasn't in love with him but I did like him.

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