He still loves me, but that doesn't mean he wants me back right?

Hey everybody,

my (much older) boyfriend of a year and half broke up with me almost a month ago. I think the main reason why we broke up, is because we moved in together after just a few months of dating. We were madly in love. And to this day, we probably still are. But that obsessive relationship ruined us both, we couldn’t let go of each other even though we knew the way we lived was unhealthy.
We had numerous fights about whether we should move together or separately. We never mentioned a break up, just living separately.
The enormous stress we both had led to some mean fights. And a couple of times I caught him talking to other women, texting them flirtatiously. It hurt me, but I forgave him.
The last fight we had was about a shelf, and the question whether we would take it to the new place or not. He threw in that it wasn’t my decision, because I wasn’t moving with him anyways. And then I finally got it. We broke up without saying it.

Now I sense that he might be seeing someone new, or even multiple women. I know for sure that he doesn’t like to be lonely. I talked about that to friends and they all say that that might be just his way trying not to cope with the break up. That he’s trying to keep his mind off of the loneliness and just keep himself sort of busy. What do you guys think? Have any of you guys ever went from a sad/bad break up to single and ready to mingle in an instant? And if you did, why? What were your feelings behind that?

And here’s the reason I ask and write all of this down: Last night at around 2am he texted me the following: “There's only three women that I'll love my whole life, and that is my daughter, my mother and you. Has always been. Will always be.”

How should I react to that? After all, I still love him and wish we could start anew. Just not so obsessive and possessive as before.

Thanks for reading all of this!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are never going to be friends so you need to stop deluding yourself that a friendship is possible or realistic after how fare you two have gone. It is entirely unrealistic to be friends with someone whom you have explored and discovered sexually and romantically in such intricately intense ways. Due to this truth, YOU ARE TORTURING YOURSELF. There is absolutely no gain to trying to keep him around. You are only PROLONGING YOUR HEARTACHE. You are only extending the amount of internal dialogues, days, and diluted experiences that this heartbreak will cause. Therefore, you need to STOP LYING TO YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY.

    Try to have a conversation with him about trying again and if he declines then you need to follow through with his desire to demote you in his life by deleting and blocking him from everywhere for the sake of your healing process and so that you can move on with your life without always having to be reminded of him

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    • Thanks for your honest opinion! I think I forgot to mention that we are not trying to be friends, I initiated the "No-Contact"-thing about one week after the break up. He broke it by sending me said text...

    • You're welcome : ) thanks for listening to my words.
      Seeing as he broke up with you, asking to get back together may make you look desperate : /
      it's worth a try but ya know, you are so young and life has so many beautiful adventures and offerings for you so don't go committing your limited time to this situation if it's going to hurt you

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What Girls Said 2

  • he loves you. just live your life and forget him for a little while i think that you both need some space and learn how to live without each other.

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  • I don't know.

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