In love with another man?

First off pardon the typos I'm a bit on the drunk side.
So about a year and a half ago I met this awesome guy off xbl. Its crazy but we hit it off in the game so started chatting by emaik. It started off innocent just as friend ship. But the more we got to know each other, the better it felt. We exchanged numbers and started talking. Little 30 minute conversationd turned into hours on the phobe.
He lives 3,000 miles away and I'm engaged to a guy. I know this isbreally wrong but I'm so confused. I've spent the last four years with the giy I'm engaged too. But for the last year this other guy has been right by myside..
He's asked how my appointments were, how I'm feeling says all these cute things and we just connected. Thebwhole idea of a soul mate was hard to understand until I and this guy started talking. We talk aboutbso much its hard to believe we spent 6 hours on the phone.
I know I can't love two guys atbonce and someone is going to get their heart broke. This guy I'm talking to knows I'm engaged. But my fiancé has nonclue. I don't know whatbto do. My fiance makes me feel lonely as he isn't affectionate at all. I get three kisses a day a and that's it. He won't hold me close or cuddle in bed. And sex is just for him I don't get nothing out of it.

This other guy makes me feel important and like abwoman. When I ralk to him I just want to do my hair put on something nice and go out.
He was the first to say I love you. As my fiancé didn't say it first. I did.
The first time I met my fiance I broke my own rule and slept with him. Even tho webwere talking for months before meeting it didn't feel right. I've never met this out guy. Just phone calks texts and Skype. What do I do? Keep in mind he lives 3000 miles away and I have a 5 year old here in the statebi live in.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The grass is always greener on the other side. All new people you meet are awesome at a distance, but when you get closer to them you realize that they have issues. Then you have to decide if you can live with those issues or not.

    If you're really that miserable with your fiance and can't put up with his personality, then don't get married to him.

    If you like this guy on the other side of the world or whatever, plan to go meet him some time in the future, but don't expect him to be as awesome as you think. You probably thought your fiance was going to be awesome at one point too didn't you?

    • My fiance said he don't change when we first got together. I was happy until he stopped taking his medications. (Mental issues) that was three years ago. He has insurance but refuses to see a doctor and get help. I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. Its getting to the point where I can't stand to see his face.

    • I can't really see you getting married to him then. "Fiance" might be a bit of a strong word for your relationship now.

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What Guys Said 1

  • oh hun.. i think you are falling for this guy because he is giving you what you are craving. Ask yourself if the BF you have at home gave you more attention would you be so keen? probably not. he gives you an escape and the attention, plus you don't have the daily grind with him. It is a tough one no question. you have to do how you feel but be careful.. and be very sure as you don'tknow him what he tells you is how it is

    • I just don't know. My fiance is always calking me fat and being mean to me. Hell he's even thrown shit at me. Not actual shit... I'm a size 6 sorry I'm not 100pounds like ibwas when we got together. My fiance is almost an atheist and I'm not. He makes fun of me for reading the Bible and tryingbto live a happy life.

    • Show All
    • I spent my whole therapy session talking about our last fight we had. We've fought four days in a row now. I can't stay one word without him yelling at me. Its really hurtful. He says a lot of mean shit but says I'm the hateful one.

    • well as i said before he sounds not right for you, tough that it may be I think you need to move on. No one has the right to dish out verbal abuse

What Girls Said 2

  • I just got duped like that with someone from the UK. Hurt like hell but every wound heals with time. Think about what the best outcome would be. Would you move? Would he? How would the future be for your child of you were to move etc... look at everything from the most realist angle possible. Yes even while intoxicated.

  • i guess its time for you to break up with your fiance or take a time off and spend a little time with your "friend". In this way, you would be able to weigh who is who. There's nothing wrong with liking another man even though you're engage, that's the reality of life. Also, you cannot avoid for someone to get hurt. But then, before trying to decide which is which, you'd rather make sure to be making the right decision because once you did there's no turning back.

    In another face, most guys would really treat you like a princess most especially if they're away from you. But once you spent time with them, they still turn out to be a d*ck or far worse than what you currently have. Spending quality time with someone will somehow help you lead to which you need to be.

    Good luck on your endeavor and hope you will make the right choice!

    • I live with my fiancé. He got pissed when I stayed a night with my mom when I was helping her move. I later asked him why he was mad and he said because I had to eat cereal for dinner... He knows how to cook

    • i think you guys has reached the point of relationship where you got saturated with each other. I think, most like you had treated him like a baby to the point that he takes you for granted. Show to him that you are a very important person in his life that if he lose you that would be his biggest mistake in his life. Moreover, I always believed that when you showed him that you can live without him and he won't without you, he'd be more appreciative of you.

      Your relationship with him could only go in two ways and I won't have to elaborate on that. However, don't we want to do whichever will make us happy? If your fiance does not do that to you anymore and you find it in someone else then don't you think that it is already a sign? I know that familiarity with each other is very hard to let go and testing new waters are kinda scary but as I've said you should do whatever will make you happy not the things that will make you miserable.

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