How to get over my ex?

My ex and I were together for four years, he was my best friend and also my first. It's been a year since we've broken up and honestly I can't get over him. It sucks because I want to move on but I constantly find myself comparing every guy I meet to him. I also still care for him very much, although we don't speak anymore I'm always wondering how he's doing and if he still thinks about me. I want to reach out to him but I feel that it would be inappropriate since its been so long, I imagine he's seeing someone by now. How can I finally get my closure and move on? Also, would it be okay if I reached out to him? Or is that a no go? Thanks in advance :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't reach out to him if I were you I would just focus on myself. Go out and meet other guys and get to know other people. My ex was first love as well and we dated for 5 years. He broke up with me out of the blue and never gave me any closure. So I just had to accept as it was, and just move on. Try not to compare every guy to your ex, cause not every guy is like that. I mean you two don't speak anymore so why bother trying to reach out to him? My ex and I have not talked in a year and I don't reach out to him at all. He's the one that broke up with me so I just moved on. Ignore him and live your life, act like he doesn't exist if you need to (trust me it works). Its his loss, just like I tell myself my ex broke up with me its his loss not mine. Go find what makes you happy and stick to it. Try to make a list of what you want and what you don't want in a boyfriend and keep it with you. It'll help you to stop comparing every guy to your ex. If you continue to do it, you won't be happy, just let it go and breathe.

    • I understand that you want some kind of closure but in life we don't always get what we want. So if I were you I wouldn't reach out to him. Only if he reaches out to you, do not chase him at all, if he wants to come to you he will. My ex never gave me closure yes I was confused but I just had to except what is and what it isn't of course. @Oxxymoron

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What Guys Said 1

  • girls and their 'first'...
    always the same problem. can't you understand that in order to move forward you have to leave something behind you?

    • I get what you mean, that isn't the problem though it's just the fact that I've lost his friendship. He and I were best friends for years before we became an involved and it just sucks

What Girls Said 3

  • You're over thinking it. Everything is still raw right now. Ignore him. It was his loss. Just chalk it up to lesson learned and stop comparing or you will never be happy. I did that shortly after my divorce and once I let go of that comparing stuff, things happened naturally and I am now happily married to the love of my life and we've been together for 7 years.

    • Really happy for you:) Wish both of you enjoy your wonderful marriage!

  • Me too.. I compare a lot. He even not my ex, just date for several times, but I like him, although he said he liked me too, we lose contact now. I even hate to meet other people, that's will remind me of everthing I go through with him, which is a torture.. I m thinking the same thing, should I contact him and ask why I got no message back, but believe me, that's not a right thing for us to do.. Guys will consider us as needy person who cannot live well or even live without them, so why make effort to get back a person who is not loving you back, who ignores your pain and doesn't contact you? I m refraining myself text him by deleting the numbers, so I have no way to get through him. Walk away with your pride, just keep busy, you ll find someone better, believe me.

  • You have to do what's right for you, and if that means reaching out to him, go for it!

    • You have to do what's right for you, and if that means contacting him, go for it! Just be prepared for the possibility of him having already moved on. If he has, don't let it get you down. I was in the same situation as you, and at that point, closure and happiness was just around the corner from me. Try to stop comparing everyone to him, and make a list of what YOU want in a boyfriend. Compare them to that. It will get better, I promise. Trust me, you will move on. I didn't think I would either, but I have and am now in the happiest, most committed relationship of my life. Good luck!

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