(I'll make this vague but detailed, this took place within a months time span and I'll share the more important facts.)
I overheard two girls talking about my friends GF, they said that she had been saying she was single and lying about being in a relationship. They were unaware that I knew both the people they were talking about (so they were completely candid).
The 1st thing I did was ask the brother who lived with them, he felt something was off, he said they were always apart and she was always going out.
Then I told the GF what I heard, her response was robotic (hard to explain almost like fake disbelief).
Then I talked to one of the girls, she gave me more details of cheating, when and where.
A silent feud started and I became the messenger in a war of words, I got more details from the other girl, things eventually got more heated then the shit hit the fan.
- There's evidence going against both sides, proving her innocence and proving she was cheating (I'll never know because no one confessed) the GF might be innocent because I think living a double life is too difficult for her because she's terrible at hiding her emotions.
I had a talk with both of them privately to reslove the issue, I actually managed to work things out... or so I thought.
Eventually after several months they broke up, he said he felt her growing apart for the last few months (that conveniently match up with the incident)
After a few more months I tried talking to my friend about it but he refused and was reluctant and said it was all good... until I found out he fucked me over on a business deal (he told a mutual friend and it got back to me) and the reason for it was because I believed the rumors that I heard about his GF.
So now I'm not talking to that friend because I'm pissed that I ended up the bad guy because I overheard a fucking conversation & I'm not sure if I want to repair the friendship.
I just wish I knew the truth for my intuition's sake.
- She was cheating and he's an idiot in denailVote A
- She was innocent and those girls were bitchesVote B
- Either or he has a right to be mad at me for meddling in his business and I have to learn to deal with it & work things outVote C
- Doesn't matter I was the sacrificial goat hung on a cross because of some devious cuntsVote D
Most Helpful Girl
Well.. on the one hand, you were being a nice samaritan to the friend you care about. And obviously you don't want to see your friend being hurt. So obviously you took action.
BUT, was it really your baggage to deal with?
I had two friends who started dating each other. At one point, the guy comes to me and randomly talks about some other girl and how he finds her so cute n stuff. I was like... waaaaaat? What about his GF? The next thing I know, after a few months, one day she just starts crying and buries herself into me. I never asked her why though. I felt that she was going through a bad time, but if she had to talk, she'd talk. Maybe I should've asked. But I just didn't want to pry into her life. Maybe cos I didn't want her to pry into mine.
Basically, I didn't tell A about B and B about A cos it was their relationship and they knew it better than me. Now they broke up, and it was eventual. You saw it coming, she saw it coming.
It's true, in your case, it would've been nice if things got sorted. After all, she was just some random girl he started dating. You didn't know about her. Sometimes direct confrontation is nice. But other times, better indirect. Instead of telling either party about the rumours, what if you just asked her how she felt about him and he about her? How they deal with each other is upto them.
"She broke up with him because she said she wanted to figure out who she is and find her identity and everyone thinks she just wants to see other people"
- I think seeing other people is also a way of finding more about yourself.
Talk to your friend. Just tell him you were looking out for him. Ask him if he felt like you were diggin too deep.1
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Most Helpful Guy
Don't poke into other people's lives.2