Things have been very very bad with me and my ex girlfriend for the past couple of months. I had broke our relationship off because I needed some space for a little while, she was extremely needy and I felt suffocated for months. Even after I told her I needed space she was still acting as if we were in a relationship, and constantly wanted to be around me or talking to me. I finally decided I needed to cut her off for a little while, I didn't ignore her, but I tried to not talk to her as much because I know I needed it but also she needed to see that she has a life of her own.
She eventually stopped chasing me and just let me be, and I began to love, respect, and miss her like crazy. I finally came out and told her that I wanted to make things work, and now it has completely backfired. She seems to be having the time of her life without me. She's always out partying and posting pictures on Facebook of how happy she is. I'm glad she is having fun, but I just wish she would at least allow me into her life in some way. For the past 4 months I have been trying as hard for her as she did for me, I have been clingy and I pushed her away. A month ago she told me she needed space because she felt like I was pressuring her into a relationship, and felt as if I was "playing mind games with her" because I was all of a sudden ready to fix our relationship. She told me we can work it out but that right now she just wants to have fun, but then other times she is flirty and I feel the connection all over again. She was hot then cold and it confused me, and stirred up a lot of emotions, which caused me to lash out at her. She told me that when she is ready to talk to me again since I put her through so much stress that she would contact me.
It has been a month and she has yet to contact me. With how crazy and obsessed I was acting, I can see why. I really did upset her. I don't want to disrespect her space by messaging her, but I may lose her for good if I don't.
- Don't give up yet.Vote A
- Give up.Vote B
Most Helpful Girl
I know exactly how she feels. It is really really really hard to trust again. She is afraid that it's gonna happen again, and you can't really tell her it's not because you can't know either.
But I'm always for second chances. If my ex (it happened the same way it did with you two) changed his mind, I would give it a go, but from the scratch. He would need to win me over and make me fall in love with him again, which would take some time. And also he would need to to understand and respect my insecurity (f. e. if he is in a bad mood I would immediately assume that the same thing is happening again and would freak out), until it goes away for good. And if you thought she was being needy before, you're gonna meet the new level of neediness if you go back together. But it will pass as soon as she learns to trust you again and let go of her fear, you just need to be very patient.2