Why didn't he tell me the truth?

My now ex boyfriend dumped me because he said he wasn't in a good place to be with me. That he needed to focus on school and with his work schedule wouldn't have time for me. But that maybe in the future we could try again and he would never forget me. Well I found out a few months later that he started dating his "best friend" the very same day. Why would he tell me all of the other junk just to be with someone else who I'm sure he'll go on to marry. Why couldn't he just tell me the truth? I'm more annoyed than anything else on top of losing all respect for him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He felt by saying what he did, he was letting you down easy and you would be more forgiving of yourself for losing him, not wondering what you did or said to push him away. Unfortunately, that's one of the oldest excuses in the book.

    As soon as I read he "wasn't in a good place" and "needed to focus on school" I knew he was full of bullshit. When you are interested and love someone, you make time for them because you want to.

    Try not to let it bother you since you now know he's a liar and may have been cheating on you with this woman. And I"m not sure he'll marry this girl, as what's to suggest he's all of a sudden going to change his behavior and not go for the next thing he thinks is better?

    We have built in mechanisms to try and protect people from what we deem as very painful, but mostly it's us saying crap to avoid the potential backlash from telling the truth. He figured you'd get angry and blow up in his face, felt guilty and wanted to wash his hands of his relationship with you, so he chose the path of least resistance. You know, "It's not you, it's me".

    I've been on the receiving end of this kind of break up and I assumed that person was full of it as well, but in the end, they're done and have made their decision, so there's nothing you or I can do about their desire to move on.

    There's a chance he could come back if'/when his relationship fails, but I hope you have the presence of mind to tell you you'd love to, but you've got to study for your board game with family, because Monopoly is so time consuming and your brother always gets Boardwalk! Or just tell him some other ridiculous shit about being Soooooo busy.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think he's good person he left you in good way at least he didn't cheat you or just desapear

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  • Because when we tell the truth you freak out and start crying. No one wants to deal with that.

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What Girls Said 4

  • People do that because they know how much the truth will hurt so they think it's better to just lie about it instead of saying the truth. They don't realize that it hurts more to be lied to than anything else :/

    I'm sorry that this happened to you. Hugs.

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  • False hope to string you along, probably. Like, you are his "back up", I had a guy say something similar to me. I would lose all respect for him as well, and move on to someone or something better.

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  • He didn't tell you because he was scared that you would get hurt by this. He chose to lie so you two would be cool with each other at the end. He didn't want you to remember him as the guy who left you for his best friend. So he chose a more peaceful way to break up with you.

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  • Because he's a coward, you deserve better

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