How do I break up?

So, I'm Pansexual, and basically I have a boyfriend... but things aren't going anywhere in my opinion, and he seems to really care about me but these days I'm just not so into it.
we have been dating for around 7 months now, and I feel like a pretty shitty person for wanting to break up with him... I mean he really didn't do anything, its truthfully just me (i know its cliche)

but there's a girl, she's pretty interested in me, she's super open and we seem to have a nice connection and Ill be honest... im kindof head over heels.
I feel bad having feelings for someone else while in a comitted relationship, and Im not gonna do anything with her until Im no longer in a relationship becasue I dont want to cheat... i just dont know what to do or how to break up... it seems like weve been together for so long that its hard picture not being with him.
I need an opinion.
I broke up with him and I thought it would be kind of a mutual "yeah it did decline" break up and we would move on.
But he apparently really loved me, and now I feel terrible because I automatically started dating the girl afterwards.

he's really depressed.
Im sad too because he's triggering my empathy.

and its worse because he didn't know we were dating for a few days, and during those days she was talking him out of his funk (or trying to) I feel bad and very two faced.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Unless you plan on marrying your boyfriend, then both of you have to understand relationships will come and go, and it's not a crime for you to have fallen out of love with your boyfriend. He could be the nicest guy in the world, but if you aren't feeling it, you just aren't feeling it, and you don't have to feel guilty and stay in something where you're not completely happy. Otherwise, your unhappiness will bleed over to the point your boyfriend will feel it and things will only end up getting worse where you both are unhappy.

    I'm not sure you really need to explain anything to him beyond you think he's wonderful and you love him, but just don't have the feelings you once did that made you want to be in a romantic relationship with him.

    By the way, I'm aware of just how hard a conversation that will be to have, but if you're adamant about not cheating on him (and good for you) and are not totally happy, then you are doing yourself and him no favors by sticking around out of obligation because you've "been together so long".

    My opinion is to be honest without going overboard about your pansexuality, but instead keep this about you and him and just tell him you don't feel the same way anymore.

    Good luck,


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you have feelings for someone else, you should break up with your boyfriend. Sometimes things don't work out because there just isn't a connection. This is fine. Staying together because you've been together a long time is a horrible reason to stay together, especially if you're not really into that person anymore.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • You tell him the truth that it won't work. I was in the same situation with my ex, started crushing another girl. I had to tell her and she also felt that we were drifting apart.

    Anyways if you don't tell him you just won't be happy.

  • Tell him the truth, that he deserves better (eg. a woman who is into him) and at you are a panhandlersexual and that you both need to move on.

  • You need to break up with him. 7 months isn't a long time in the world of relationships. It will hurt him, but he'll learn from it and grow.


What Girls Said 2

  • "Hey ____, you are a really sweet guy but I think its time to end the relationship. I just don't think it will end up anywhere. I am sorry"

    Then go get the girl.

  • it must be done!


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