How do you know if it's worth trying to be friends with an ex after a breakup? Is it always a good or bad idea?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not friends with any of my ex-boyfriends, and that's not due to a lack of trying. There is one who is my "friend" on Facebook but we never talk or comment on each other's things. Mind you, it's been 20 years since we broke up. All the other ones, I initially tried to be friends with but it just does not work. The only thing that should follow a break-up is cutting the person who was once your partner out of your life. As nice as it sounds to remain friends with an ex and be lovers one day and best friends the next, life doesn't work like that. Whenever a relationship ends there's hurt feelings, disappointment, maybe even accusations. More often than not, one person still wants the relationship. None of these things are good for building a friendship, on the contrary, they are detrimental.

    I'm not saying you can never ever be friends with an ex. It is possible. But only after a very lengthy time of no contact, so that both parties have time to truly move on. I find that once that has happened, I rarely have any interest in keeping in touch with an ex. So yes, as much as I always want to be friends and keep the person in my life in some way after a break-up, I rationally know that that is not what is going to happen.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Take some time apart. There are almost always too many conflicting emotions involved to just "downgrade" a relationship into a friendship and continue on like it's all okay.

    Eventually you have to decide what purpose a friendship would have. If it's mostly to have somebody to talk to and do things with like you are informally dating, you're asking for trouble both with them and in any future relationships either of you get involved in.

    There are situations where being friends is worth it, though. If you have mutual admiration and respect for each other's goals and aspirations, and have the ability to help each other reach them, on your own time and your own terms, then go for it. I have a friendship like that with one of my exes, and we've both benefited from it.

    However, I think most people have relationships primarily for access to sex, emotional support, an activity partner, and maybe financial support. Being with somebody because you also admire qualities that have nothing to do with their ability to be a good partner is apparently pretty rare, so for most people the reason to remain friends is absent, and often completely inconceivable.

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  • It's a bad idea as it's not worth as it won't work. Coz u know each other very well and may b u won't feel jealous but he can and so he can make trouble to u. There r 2 people. whom u dont trust the one whom u don't know and the one whom u know very well

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  • "If they can be cruel to enough to break promises then they are not friendship material."

    Excerpts from this myTake. Go read it.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a9490-the-realest-guide-to-getting-over-a-breakup

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  • Maybe just be friendly and not actual friends. It just causes issues with your future relatioships if you're REALLY close with all ex's.

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  • I'd say it's a bad idea to be friends with an ex

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What Girls Said 1

  • Sometimes the people you go out with aren't meant to be your soulmate... But once in a while you do get into a relationship , even if it doesn't work out, where your partner is very helpful, sincere , fun to be around and you can't help but feel happy and safe with him and her... If you do go through a relationship like that with a person who is very good to you, and more than anything makes you feel like you're his best friend, then I don't think you should throw away what you have.. Because as my mom says, love comes around every now and then.. but good friendships are something that only come around a handful of times..

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