Long Distance Break up?

Hello everyone ,
Glad I came across this forum. I am in Europe for a 2 yr masters, I complete next year and he's in Africa. Despite all promises that he'd wait for me, all changed. Distant, cold, picking fights, not picking/returning calls or texts for days. A month ago, he finally told me after I confronted him and suggested he didn't have to toy with my emotions further and that if he wanted out it is okay. He later confessed that long distance is tough and that we should just be friends for now, he doesn't want to be caught in a situation where he is being unfair to me (cheating). But he still loves me and treasures our friendship and that we should not throw that away. I neither pleaded not begged but gracefully respected his decision which was shocking for him because I put in all the effort towards the end, trying to salvage the relationship. I declined the friends offer politely explaining that I needed time for that to play out but he still keeps texting me to which I firmly stood my ground.
After 3 weeks of NC he put up a photo on whatssap kissing a girl. He then took it down the next day and sent me a text asking how I am, letting me in on what he's been up to and wishing me a great Easter holiday. He had never changed his profile pic since he joined whatsapp, he's never once had a status update. Was always * available*. Suddenly he feels the need to keep updating photos and status'. He recently changed his status to * Nothing was the same*, the lyrics to the song are clearly hitting on us. I feel like he's really trying to get at me. May be he's disappointed at how well I handled the situation and didn't run after him or the fact that I turned down the friends offer. Funny he pulled the plug, interesting he's acting the way he is. Should have actually been me ( the dumpee) acting this way. We were good friends 4 years before I accepted to give it a shot. We work together. Should I maintain NC till I get back to Africa. Any advise? All emotions came rushing today 😔


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he doesn't want to remain in a committed relationship with you; he wants the freedom to pursue other women. However, when you didn't resist his suggestion to break up, that bruised his poor little ego. Now he wants you to kiss his booboo and make it all better. Do you want to do that?

    Maybe he wants to keep you tethered to him so he can resume things with you in a few years.

    Whatever is going on in his head, he won't stay committed to you and you were putting in all the work. Is there any future in this relationship? A good relationship has love, trust, and respect. You don't trust him and you don't respect him, so it's over. You can drag it out and have your breakup take months, but its just a matter of time.

    I suggest that you end it, cut all contact with him (including any social media,) and get on with finding someone who deserves you.

    • Thank you very much for the advise. I am really grateful and feel so much better. I will certainly do as you mentioned. I am doing well so far though a times it gets pretty tough but like you said, I will let the heartbreak drag on, time is the best healer.
      And NO, I will not kiss his booboo hahaha... I regained back all the power after the breakup and I intend to keep it this way for as long as it takes. Thank you again.


    • Rest assured that time heals all wounds, and time wounds all heels. He will get what he deserves.

      Thanks for the MHO. Please feel free to message me if you need to hear some words of support or encouragement.

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