Can you give me advice on how I should proceed?

So, I recently was under a lot of stress. Finishing up my masters and getting a job simultaneously. My ex can sometimes be needy and can come across sassy without meaning to. About a month ago, I was under a lot stress and she had been extra needy and tudy. We ended up getting into a fight and I basically told her off and we did not talk for a month (she had really been upsetting me the past couple of weeks and it all escalated one night). I didn't plan to break up with her or anything and I definitely didn't want it to end like that. I started talking to her again about a month later, just small stuff, and its been nice. Then I called her and we talked for 3 hours. I was straight forward and said I wanted to be with her still and I was just under the most pressure I've ever experienced. She said I didn't make her feel wanted and that I got mad at her for being herself. That she wants someone who doesn't make her feel bad for being needy. I didn't say clearly enough that I wish she could see that her neediness was too much for me to handle at the time. After we talked I told her through text that I would be more understanding, that I miss her immensely. I told her I was sorry and that I know we have a lot of the same struggles with each other but that I want to try see eye to eye more, that I like how similar we are, and how I even think an adjustment would better me. She said she would respond in the morning and ended the comment with a <3. I felt optimistic, but she didn't respond. After starting up the conversation again she said that we make better friends than lovers. She also thinks we are too much a like and we will keep unintentionally hurting each other. I pretty much pathetically begged at this point, I love her so much, she keeps giving me short responses (mostly picking apart my words) and then saying she will respond when she's off work or the next day or something but never does. She says she doesn't know the words to use.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I know you love her and I know you might not want to hear this but... I think it's best to leave her alone and see what she does. Now it seems like she's wanting to distance herself because she's afraid of both of you being hurt in the relationship again. But if you can't stand it and you really want to know what to do, call her (not text!) And ask her straight up, "so... at the point what are you thinking? Do you want to move on or make this work because I'm confused as to what you want" or something along those lines. And if she says, "umm I'll just tell you later" then it just don't even bother anymore.. you don't want someone who's indecisive :-\ and also about the pressure thing she should have understood and supported you. Ya know girls are so needy these days... smh.

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    • Thank you, I think you're right. I want to call but don't think I could get anything out without crying or hyperventilating

    • You're welcome... and dang lol didn't realize how many typos I had. Aw, I mean hey if you know calling will be a struggle then I guess texting would be okay. I just said call because it's like more of a connection.. sort of thing haha. But I wish you luck and I hope it works out great. Sometimes relationships have to end like that for a reason ;p

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