I'm almost 20 and just found out my parents are getting divorced... I don't know how to deal with it?

I knew this was coming for years, but I never really thought they would actually get divorced. I told both of them I'm fine, but I've been spending all my free time crying about it and I feel like I'm overreacting. They don't know I'm so emotional over it because I don't want them to know, but it's really been affecting me. I'm in college, but I live at home and my mom told me my dad has to move out by the beginning of the summer.

If any of you have parents that got divorced, how did you deal with it? I also don't want to tell any of my friends about it yet because I feel overwhelmed.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sorry for your loss. Divorce is sort of like experiencing the death of your family unit. It will take much much time and many tears and still you'll never be unaffected by it.
    Know that this doesn't mean they love you any less. And thank them. . . yes thank them for staying together for as long as they did because I'm sure it wasn't all that easy for them.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ahhh I'm sorry!

    They say it's easier when your parents divorce when you're older, but I have to disagree.. As a child, you grow up with life having adjusted to it.. But at 20 life is just with your parents together, and that's how it should stay.. That's how it feels anyway, right?

    Your mum and dad will expect you to cry about it! It's just natural, don't feel guilty for being affected.. It's a huge thing for and it's going to take a while to get used to life changing.

    It isn't all bad though!
    2 birthdays, 2 Christmases haha..
    And I know you probably absolutely don't want this under any circumstance right now, but eventually your parents will both move on and be happy again.

    And they're our parents, all we want is for them to be happy right?

    You don't need to talk to your friends about it all straight away, but if can realllllly help.. I definitely needed my friends around me at that time.

    Of course the whole of GaG is here for you! Hope you're okay lovely.. Things WILL be okay! ❤️


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What Guys Said 1

  • Try to be cupid and get them back together.


What Girls Said 3

  • Wow I'm sorry to hear that. My parents divorced when I was one so I was pretty used to thinking life was that way. I was the youngest so my sister and my mom always sheltered me and wanted the best for me. I was filled with love all over but I always felt rejected from when my dad left. Yet when I hit 18 everything came back to me and I even lost a boyfriend because I didn't think I was worth the happiness. I knew that at 18 I had low self esteem because of what happened but I dealt with it by treating my ex bf bad. Eventually our relationship ended and I was empty again. After that ex I got treated bad by two bf's. Can we say karma well I finally realized that I was getting into relationships to fill that hole. What I should have was focus on my self esteem. As well as I've learned to love everyone that loves me and not take things for granted. I know it seems like you be happy again but you will. It's now at 28 that I have found peace and understand why everything happened. I found a great website that has also helped me a ton make sense of things. It is called 2Knowmyself. com. It has really made a difference on my thinking. Life is beautiful and bad things do happen but we should know that we have control to be happy again. I really wish all the best for you.

    • I had an awesome childhood but I didn't feel the rejection until I turned 18.

  • My parents got a divorce when I was 12. My mom started sleeping around with multiple men after that and I hated her for it. I started cutting myself, been in several mental health hospitals, ended up in foster care etc. I totally broke down. Especially having to see my dad cry about it. For a very long time though I hated my mom and I didn't understand that the reason she left him was because he was very abusive. In a way she tried to save me..

  • My parents had a really messy divorce. (In middle school of all times). There was a lot of screaming, splitting and getting back together, and even today I'm dealing with effects of it. Every case it specific to the people involved, but what I did was immerse myself in things I enjoy. I did theatre, I read books (Harry Potter specifically), and I talked to friends. It was (and still is) calming to read/watch other people solve their problems and have a happy ending.


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