Would it be okay to say this to my ex?

Quick background: he is staying abroad for 7 years. We were exclusively dating for 3 years and I recently asked if he wants to make it official and he said that he doesn't want to be in an LDR. He wants to stop what we have and it's not because there's someone else or he wants to look for someone. He just wants to be alone and stop seeing me to focus on looking for a job to repay his scholarship. He says he likes me but won't ask me to wait for him. He insists I go entertain other guys!

He has been very confusing. At first I asked if it was because of me and he said no but later said yes and says it's because he feels that we only match as friends and not as partners. So after some talking I asked what he doesn't like about me? And then said that he likes me and it's not really because of me? But then he again says at some point he likes me but just not ending up together.

A few months back, I asked him what he means when he said he likes me when he first approached me. He said that time it was more of he wants to get to know me more but now it's more of his instinct was right to approach me. But now what... he wants to stop?

I asked him to meet up recently after 1 month of not talking and he seemed happy. He paid my dinner (which he never did before), subtly inches toward me when we were seating next to each other on the steps to the point that our arms and hips touch, and was willing to meet even though he lives an hour ride away.

I was planning to write a Handwritten letter and tell him
- why I was hurt
- I'm now okay with being just friends
- I won't force him if he feels that I'm not the one he wants to be with and id be happy for him.
- I still consider him as a good friend and would always be there for him if he needs me

would this seem desperate? Or like I don't have dignity for myself? I still like him but I'm not sure if he does?

What do you think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's unstable. I don't know if he'd pull this relationship. So yes, write it. Maybe it would work.

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What Guys Said 1

  • No that actually seems like a very nice and mature way to get your feeling out in the open and makes sure he's on the same page.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's ok write everything you feel being honest will just make you feel more comfortable. But don't expect too much... Since he's stable he might forgive you now. But something might come up again try to be careful.

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  • Yes I see no problem with it

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