Girls, Is it ok to contact a girl who said she is not ready for a relationship?


Do you think it's ok to contact her once in a while? I'm connected to her va instagram. She recently posted detached posts. Just want to make sure she's alright and also tell her I haven forgotten her.

She ended her last relationship of 2 years 3 months ago. After the first skyping with me she said she likes me and stuffs, but isn't ready for the intensity of a relationship. She said she doesn't want to waste my time. She said she may be demaged, directionless, and uncommital. She said it's ok if I date other women.

  • She is either recovering or she said it just to get rid of you. Either way leave her alone.
    Vote A
  • Do whatever you feel like doing.
    Vote B
  • Yes, do it. She is probably testing you to see how serious you are with her.
    Vote C
  • other (please elaborate)
    Vote D
  • I don't know. I just want to see the results.
    Vote E
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey there grashopper, I just wanted to chime in a bit. For me, there are 3 options: 1) She really does need time to recover 2) She said it just to get rid of you 3) She is worried that you are too good for her and that she will get hurt. It does seem she said a lot of things that indicate she is down on herself, but you can never be sure. Probably, she isn't even sure. My advice is to send her a message saying you respect her wishes and will give her some space to do whatever she needs to do. Then, disappear; stay away for some time and make the best of yourself. Get out with friends, get in good shape, excercise, socialise etc. Don't be available to her unless she specifically requests you (or unless she is seriously depressed and you are worried about her) and if she does, do NOT cancel your plans to be with her (unless you think she's going to jump off a bridge). Then, in a month or two, or 3, drop back in on her and see how she's doing. You might get a different response, or you might be dating someone else by then :) Trust me, healthy young men who radiate confidence and happiness are absolutely magnetic to women, no matter what you think. The rest is just relationship management, lol! Best of luck!

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    • I contacted her. She was happy hearing from me. She thought I wouldn't want anything to hear from her. She is stressed out at the moment and suffers from insomnia.

    • I'm glad you got that cleared up with her :) Let us know how it goes ;)

    • She said she still can't promise anything. She can't promise we will be a couple, she can't promse exclusivity, she can't promise she will be ready for me. She then added that I should see that she give a lot of time to me - even though there are other guys who want to talk with her.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you should contact her... I mean, she might say she's not ready because she is scared of making mistakes or being hurt. Or that she wants to get rid of you. Whichever the reason, if you feel like you have something going on but she shies away, I suggest you try to find exactly why: body language, messages and facebook are great tools - and no, I don't mean to say that you should stalk her.

    Make her miss you! IF she looks for you, you might have a shot!

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  • Yeah but she might think you're doing it cuz you like her

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