When is a romantic relationship worth fighting for? Thoughts and opinions on the matter?

Hmmm... Been a while since I last posted a question on this website. Anyway, the question is as the title says... I've been reading relationship problems in depth for a good 4 years now and I have seen countless amounts of testimonies, stories, and comments about relationships. One thing that has piqued my interest are people's viewpoints about the case is when it's the right option to 'call it quits' on the relationship. The problem here is that I fail to see an obvious consensus as to what factors define when a relationship is beyond fixing or not. I assume there is no consensus (perhaps cheating is the closest but ******a good proportion of people still argue a relationship is worth fighting after cheating!!!******). So I am interested to know what the g@g community thinks.

In depth answers if possible as I want to discuss (but feel free to give short answers). I am pretty open-minded on this matter.


Most Helpful Girl

  • To be honest I have no idea, like right now I am very confused because I do not know if I should keep fighting for my 3 year relationship or not, a lot of things have happened in my relationship, we have given each other countless of opportunities, maybe way too many to know if we should continue with this or not, I guess there is really no way of telling if a relationship is worth fighting for or not, I think it depends more on the people and the circumstances, though you sometimes can get stuck like me and you need an outsider to give you some input, I honestly wished there was a defined line it would make my life much easier right now

    • I feel for you really. Even when the solutions are placed on the table, people become so stubborn to not take them. I mean clearly you care for your relationship as you have been fighting to keep it. I think you are right to some extent that it depends on the person and the circumstances. The problem though is that if it was dependant on those factors- suddenly, it becomes a very fine between making excuses as to why you want to break up or rock solid reasons (whatever that may be). Like you said, it's hard to say.

    • Yesterday I was actually talking to a friend about it, and I actually said something that made a bit of sense concerning this, this might sound selfish, but right now I think everything goes down to my happiness, am I happy or not? I have always put his happiness before mine, so I think it's time to think about mine too, and right now I am not happy, yes we were very happy and we might be very happy in a future, but for that future A LOT of things would need to change, and some things simply cannot be changed, there are things that I cannot ask of him even though he might be willing to do them to save our relationship, I guess I just need to move on

    • Since I am missing a lot of context, I would argue that your relationship wasn't really a relationship from the start. The way I see it, I think you can't reach an equilibrium with your partner and you don't see any way of achieving that them I would say the relationship is done for especially if you yourself isn't happy about it.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Whenever you feel like it's that relationship or nothing, I guess. The case has to be pretty extreme.

    • Damn... I think it would take a really insecure person to want to not be single again.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Cheating alone is a massive deal breaker for me. So if that's happening in my relationship, I'm calling it quits quicker then he can say the word "quits"

    In saying that, I see no reason to why someone wouldn't fight for there relationship. If you truly loved them, you would be surprised on some of the things you would do for them. And maybe you do things that you thought you couldn't do.

    • Maybe there's some truth to the notion "Love know no bounds". Maybe you will forgive someone you love truly for cheating on you, no?

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    • Thanks!

    • No problem, nobody is perfect and no one should to be forced to tolerate cheating. I am not sure if I would either. Thank you for your input.

  • I read this somewhere and it made a lot of sense

    "When do you know when it's over?

    Maybe when you feel in love with the memories more than the person standing in front of you."

    • Even if you were more in love with the memories more than the person themself, why would that mean the relationship is over?

    • MHO right here

    • @JackKerouac77 Most helpful to who? To me? I don't select MHOs anyway.

  • When both of us are feeling the same and want the same thing. That's basically a key to any relationship.

    So if we both want to fight for it, only then it's worth. If one wants to fight for it but other doesn't want, it's over and the other one wins.

    • I have to say that is a very insightful response. I guess many people stop fighting because they feel they can get someone where they don't encounter certain problems they had in their previous relationship. It would be a all fun and games until they encounter problems again and then the whole cycle repeats all over again.

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    • Well when you do fall for someone, just remember: if you get the feeling that something is wrong, and you get it more then once, then something IS wrong. When it's a true love, you won't get that feeling. :)

    • Hmmm... I will keep that in mind, thank you. :)

  • If there is no trust, love, or want to be together, what's the point? Oh wait, some people are lonely.

    • Yep, loneliness alone is enough for some to stay in their relationship. I think loneliness falls under the umbrella of security however whether that may be physically, socially or mentally.

  • Every relationship is different, so would their reasons for ending it or fighting for it. If the relationship feels like it is heading down hill and one partner sees it as something that will go away in time while the other sees it as a never ending cycle that won't change. Unfortunatley this is the way many relationships are while there are others that actually do work out, those are the ones that are worth fighting for

    • Excellent answer. You are going to be one to look out for on this website. I do wonder though whether it's a lack of communication and problem solving skills. One can go on forever about their problems but it seems not many have many solutions to even one of their problems. I guess that's just look at it logically though. From my experience the problem is more emotional than logical which it is hard to tackle.

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