Am I wrong because I don't want to be friends with my Ex?

Call me bitter or just unlucky.
Long story short, my ex and I have known one another since we were 17/18. We were on and off, but then we were "an item" right before turning 20. I/he was my/his everything. We basically lived together and were inseperable. Years later, our relationship got rocky. The excitment wore off. Here we are no longer teenagers, finishing school in the real world working on our careers/jobs and barely have time for one another as we once did.

Well, he had a particular female friend that he's known for some time now and she's maybe about a couple years younger than us I've or take. She's a great girl and to be honest, I have nothing against her. They were always close and had sort of a brother/sister relationship. I was always wary of how well they got along and how well she could make him listen to her. Until recently, a few weeks back actually, he broke it off with me because he wanted to persue her as a girlfriend. He claimed to see "potential". He told me the honest to God truth that he grew to love her through the years as a good woman but that he'd always love me and didn't want me to get too hurt so he tried his best to be comforting. I just wasn't buying it. He mentioned how he wants us to be friends.

I told him that I would not like to remain friends with him and that I wanted him completely out of the picture. Yes, if I saw him on the street, I'd say hey and ask him how he was doing, but I won't call him at all. I am sinerely hurt, but I have a very good way of masking my emotions so for all he knows, I'm sad but I keep going. Some people say I'm made of stone grrr... I give off this vibe that I don't care but deep down inside I feel hurt and wish we wouldn't have ended our long relationship. We built so much as a couple and I watched his transition from an 19 year old with no direction to 25 year old with an entry level career. We encouraged eachother and were eachothers backbone, but now its all out of the window.

If you or you knew someone in this situation would you remain friends with your ex? And just be happy for him/her?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • At least he was upfront about what he ultimately ended up feeling. The let's be friends line can at times be a slap on the face and in my opinion this is one of them. in certain situations it's used as a cushion to soften the blow And the person saying it knows what they did is wrong but is trying to come off as someone who is compassionate and actually believes that a friendship after a bad breakup will actually work and make things ok. This doesn't work for everyone. In my opinion, when it comes to bad breakups it is possible to be friends with an ex but only after enough time has passed to where what happened no longer affects you and you have moved on with your life

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • In a situation like this, no. I don't mind staying friends with my ex if things didn't work out, or if the "spark" is gone.

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    • In a way, the spark did leave, its just vindictive that he left me for his close friend, because it looks like he was just having an emotional affair the entire time.

  • no. you failed him so its understandable.

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    • How did I fail him?

    • You wouldn't want to remain friends with a girl who broke your heart and left you for another man either. Especially if all this time she was "emotionally cheating" on you which gives me an idea that you're just a troll and want to piss people off and ruin their day. Good luck being a heartless turd.

    • You got it. Part of it that is.

What Girls Said 1

  • No, you can't stay friends with him. It's not wrong if you don't want to at all, he's left you to pursue another woman who he has known while being in a relationship with you. People change, and some times, you're better off without them in your life

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    • Thanks for the encouragement.

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