Is the divorce the right thing?

My divorce will be final soon. I have accepted and moving on. Not saying it is not hard becuase it is a life changing thing. I just want to be sure it is the right thing for both of us. We have had to stay in contact some due to the proceedings and selling the house. The other night he called (when normally he would text) to ask a question about the house and we talked for 30mins. I have been worried about some comments that are negative about himself and he has been drinking a lot and not sleeping well.
He still keeps my picture in his wallet and says he tries not to think about the good times we had.
Are we making the right choice to go our separate ways?
He came home one day and said "im not happy anymore" there had been a bit of a lull for maybe 2 weeks, but I had not gone down the divorce road. We have been married for 10yrs so I expect lulls in that amount of time.
I asked if he wanted to work it out and he said no, but his actions are saying something different. I do not know what to do as I feel this going to be a mistake that we cannot come back from.
I cannot read minds and guys deal with things differntly.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Been through it all, and you'll question yourself for a coupla years yet...
    You're getting divorced for a reason, obviously you didn't work as a couple...
    Write down why you seperated, stick it on the fridge and look at it to remind yourself why... just because he's drinking, not sleeping etc don't let that guilt you into going where you're not happy...
    Stand strong and you'll get through it
    Good luck
    Hope this helps

    • I have made this list and I look at it often but the good outweighs the bad. He inital is the one that brought up the divorce word. I went though a lot of emotions and thought about working it out, but I am in a place now that I have accepted it, but now I do not what he is thinking. It all happened so fast and I just wonder if it was a rash decision.

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What Guys Said 4

  • These are your odds:
    For people who divorce because they think marriage is making them unhappy, 2 out of 3 of those people are still unhappy 5 years after the divorce.
    For people who decide to work through their problems (if there even are any), and avoid divorce, 2 out of 3 of those people ARE happy (and still married) 5 years later

    • So basically you are saying he might just be an unhappy person and doesn't know how to fix that and this is just one thing he thinks might help? I truly just want him to be happy and not make a rash mistake, but I guess that is for him to make.
      We will see what group he falls in the happy 1 or unhappy 2 in 5 years

  • i take it you have kids? it can be most hard on the kids, so you should make sure that this is actually the right decision for them as well, and not just for you. If you dont have kids well that's a different matter

    • No we do not have kiddos which is good. He had recently brought up having a kid and we discussed it. That is another reason that I worry this is a rash decision.

  • It all depends on why you are divorcing him... But it can also be because you didn't work as a couple... you have work your relationship when it is in trouble... That's the real test of any relationship... staying together during the good times is always easy but running away from the problems because the Alfonso is not going that well maybe the reason why it could lead to divorce...

    I suggest you if you haven't done everything to work your relationship maybe you should and work in it...
    But again it all depends on why you are getting divorced...

    Umm who is giving the divorce to you and can i ask you why?

    • Ohh hey i read your update... do it was him who wanted the divorce... Shoot that is sad... Sorry..
      Well i think if he is not happy and didn't wanna work things out then maybe...

  • what are you getting divorce for?


What Girls Said 2

  • Well... I don't believe in divorce. Maybe divorce was too soon for you guys? Did you at least try to work it out? Personally, I wouldve considered legal separation until my S/O and I sorting out our differences. And if its just physically impossible to work things through then maybe divorce is needed.

    • I do not believe in divorce either unless there are huge issues (phyiscal abuse etc) I asked him if he wanted to try a seperation first, but I am unsure if pride/stubbonnes is getting in the way. I am a bit lost because his actions seem as if he does not want this and it might have been a rash decision. As I said I have accepted and am moving on but I dont want a decision such as this be made if it is the wrong one.

    • Well if he seemed as if he wasn't willing to try then you can't make him. It just sucks that you had to take it that far. He just hasn't come to terms and seemed closure like you have. Give him time. If he continues to drink consider telling him to participate in AA meetings because that's a serious problem.

    • And when I mean continue drinking I mean binge drink

  • If you've gotten this far into the divorce, there must be a good reason why. It will take some time, but he will recover.


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