Unsure if still in relatationship?

My Girlfriend (20) and I (24) have been dating for 10 months but recently I've been clingy, needy, invade privacy with no space. she's a busy person with school and work but were got so comfortable that we go out to family parties and dinners.

When i'm clingy I like to non stop text her even if she doesn't reply, I noticed I've been doing that a lot. I look for attention by doing things like unfriending her on social media and sending a request, childish things like that. When she is bothered she doesn't talk at all and there's nothing I can do to comfort her but my instinct is to solve the problem right now and there, that's how she is. I knew she was bothered by it but I still continued and made a snooty comment and she unfriended me from all social media, not blocked. I have no self control.

I talked to her in person after waiting for her to after work without her knowing and we talked a little and she mentioned that I don't act the same like in the beginning of the relationship and its too comfortable. She also was questioning the word "I love you" and is it really love. I learned from past relationships to control my anger and not retaliate about situations when I don't want to hear it. We left and she told me to drive safe and I said to text me when you get home (what I use to tell each other on the first couple of dates.) She did end up texting me and but stopped.

I've giving her space with no contact for 6 days until I texted her "how were you doing, how did you do on your school project" with no response since last night. I just wanted to "say" and actually "prove" that I've changed and don't have be checking on her every minute. Even though she deleted me from all social media there are photos of us still up even though I know she deleted some. This is giving me the hope that giving her space and respecting by not blowing up her phone (like I started to do before it got like this) change things to give me another chance.


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What Girls Said 1

  • To be honest, I don't feel you should be involved in a relationship at the moment - but seeing as you say you love this girl, I get that you won't just leave to work on yourself.

    I can see why she is questioning if you love her. When a guy becomes possessive and overly needy in a relationship, it can come across extremely selfish and as though he just wants/needs reassurance and attention, not actual love, which is supposed to inspire us to also be selfless.

    It sounds like you are still together, but she is probably thinking long and hard on if it's worth continuing. I can tell just by the fact that you had to put prove in quotations that you aren't taking this as seriously as you should. You need to find inner peace with yourself and find out why you do these things in order to completely stop them. It takes more than just sitting on your hands and not doing it.

    When you begin talking let her know that she matters to you and you want to reflect on yourself to find out where this all comes from, and that you'll need her love, understanding and support during the process. You will mess up, but it should hopefully pay off.

    • What do you suggest I do? Wait for a reply back and give her space or just text her again if she wanted to talk about things. Don't want to bring back that feeling she has against be about constantly texting her and just give time.

    • Give it another day, if she doesn't respond, send her a message basically saying:
      Listen, I understand why you're upset and I don't blame you, I also understand if you're not keen on talking to me. But it's really important that we try to figure this out together, because I don't want this relationship to fall apart. When you're ready to talk, please let me know. I love you.

What Guys Said 1

  • not at an impressive stage of a relationship. the strange thing is u know what the problem is. all u need is stop being that guy ( honestly we dont like girls who dont give us space either) & things will get all fine. being overprotective usually comes across as needy. you can still save your relationship. an apology can be great to start with and dont focus on showing that u have changed, just change already. things will be fine


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