I dated someone with anxiety and depression and though it makes me sad seeing them sad, I've never felt that way about myself so I don't know. I told him if he really feels that way then there's nothing I can do because a person can't fix my own mental illness and if it's too much for him then he is free to let me go.. he said he would think about it and said he only feels so bad because he cares so much about me.
I just don't know how to get it across to him. I feel like maybe he beats himself up too much over it and thinks too much about it. My anxiety attacks last like 15 minutes max and I'm fine. I'm not a sad person but he thinks I am because of it.
help? I love him and I know he loves me which is why I'm willing to let him out of this situation but I don't want to lose hope
Most Helpful Guy
Some guys who lack self-confidence try to compensate by being the guy who can do everything for a girl. They buy you things, use the polite manners, try to make you laugh, keep you entertained, etc. Does this sound like him? If so. . . you may need to go overboard on reassuring him why you like him and why he is so important in your life.
Feeling helplessness is an antecedent of depression. Maybe you need to reassure his that, even though he can't prevent your panic attacks, they are less frequent and less severe because of the things that he does for you on a regular basis.
Most Helpful Girl
I've been through this, as I also have GAD (mine sounds a little milder than yours - I don't often have panic attacks, but I feel a constant low level of anxiety. It. Is. Exhausting.) There's not a ton you can do or say to make him feel more helpful to you during these attacks. He needs to know that you are able to cope on your own. His feelings are natural for someone who cares deeply for you.
In the meantime, have you ever read The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook? I find it helpful and my therapist often recommends it to her patients.0