My boyfriend gets mean during arguments?

Okay well I know MOST people do.. but the way he argues, he acts like I punched him or something. He apologizes later but I don't think he realizes how bad it hurts.
We had kind of a rough past few days where I nicely asked him to try to change how he acted around a certain girl because the certain behavior appears flirtatious to girls sometimes. Then he said I was accusing him of flirting and how dare I think he was that kind of person if he had a girlfriend and blah blah. Then we got past it and moved on.
We went to a concert the other day and I had an anxiety attack and we had to go to the back. i get over anxiety attacks really fast and get ready to party again in like 10 minutes, but he started acting like an ass. He would ignore me and if I asked what was wrong he kept saying "nothing" then when I got it out of him he just said that I had been bitching at him and making him feel like crap the last few days when all I've been doing is trying to be nice and express my feelings in a nice way. I wanted to go back and have fun but he just kept being rude and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire by just leaving him there.
Afterwards I told him if my anxiety was too much for him he could just leave because I honestly thought he had it with me and wanted out and he said he'd think about it... then the next day he acted like everything was normal and said sorry for being a dick.
I feel like this kind of behavior is unacceptable but other than that, he is awesome. He has low self esteem so when we argue, he takes a lot of blame and takes it really hard.
How do I tell him that it's not acceptable? I mean he already apologized and I just said it was okay and that's my mistake but I feel like it wouldn't be a good idea to give him false sense of relief then come at him again and bring it up even though he apologized


Most Helpful Girl

  • Life is too short to deal with that all the time. He needs to learn that the way he treats people is overblown and ridiculous.

    All I can think to do is tell him next time he flips out in an argument you're going to record it so he can see the type of person he turns into. Then he can decide if he wants to be that kind of person and if you deserve to be around that kind of person.

    This cycle where he acts crazy and then apologizes later is abusive and destructive. You need to get out if it continues.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Honestly, it doesn't sound like you guys should be together. He's too insecure and takes it out on you.

  • Dump him. He is an ass


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