My ex-boyfriend and I had been together for 6 months. Promises forever devoted the rest of his life to me and making me happy. Then he started making plans for us for the future together. Then out of no where he sent me a text saying I'm leaving you I can't handle a distance relationship goodbye forever. When we weren't even in a distance relationship and didn't give a real reason to leave me. I don't understand. How do you deal with this and move on?
Most Helpful Guy
Sounds like he has no idea what he wants or who he is. His words thus become mere verbal representations of this confusion and uncertainty. Though it may be muddled by his false sense of conviction that the moment presents, his true conviction is as fleeting as the moment which presented it. He may be lying to you, but you need to understand that he is probably lying to himself as well.
What can you do? Take everything he says with a grain of salt. In fact, when anyone starts making grandiose claims like that, make sure they are substantiated by their history of actions -otherwise they are just acting (whether they know it or not).
Furthermore, don't blind yourself by wishful thinking. When you face these situations, just remember who you are dealing with. When he says something like "I will take care of you forever," bring him back to the clouds and say "Why don't you start by planning out a date for us this week, or reading a book I recommended, or encouraging proper diet and exercise, or learning how I like to fold my laundry?" You will find out REAL quick just how substantiated his words were.
And finally, with this guy in particular, you should probably feel just a tad sorry for him. Living in uncertainty isn't necessarily the greatest way to live. However, in the future you can learn to spot those signals early on, and help him find himself and center him. Call him out on his bullshit, but in the most compassionate and caring way you can :)2