I lied to my ex and told him that I no longer had feelings for him, because I want to keep him in my life?

I'm still in love with my ex. I didn't realize just how much until he got a new girlfriend. I'm so jealous that I can barely ask him about her and how their relationship is going. Neither one of us really broke up with the other, we just sort of took a break (my decision) and he moved on.

Yesterday he told me I couldn't get gushy with him anymore or say cute things, and I lied and told him it doesn't mean anything anyway, that I love him as a friend and am not romantically interested in him at all.

Does this make me a bad person, for being so desperate to keep him in my life? Why doesn't he like me saying those gushy things (I miss you etc)?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You decided to "take a break" because you had problems and the relationship wasn't giving you pleasure. After a break up, it is vey common for people, especially younger people, to want to maintain a connection so that, when something magically changes, you will both be there ready to resume.

    Nothing ever magically changes. You are the same person you were before and he is the same person he was before. The attraction that you two felt wasn't strong enough to make your relationship work before and, if you do get back together, the odds are astronomically high that you will rediscover that ugly truth: you really aren't meant for each other.

    This is normal behavior and it does not make you a bad person. For your own benefit, you need to accept the fact that this relationship is over, learn your lessons, and now you are better prepared for the next relationship. This process will continue until you meet THE ONE but every break up will not hurt as badly as this one does.

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What Guys Said 2

  • no yes no yes

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  • That is why I do not like to play mind games.
    Well now he have moved on, and so you should. Give your self a break, do not get emotional and try to reflect on what happened. Then make your decision of what is next.
    Unless this new girl is bad news and she will hurt him, I do not think you have the right to interfere now.

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    • I don't think I'm interfering though. I just want him in my life as a friend

    • If you are really honest, and he is a friend worthy. Just go straight and clear things up, you will do just fine.

What Girls Said 2

  • You're not a bad person, at least not unless you plan on ruining his perfectly good relationship so you can revive the one you had with him. Wanting is not a bad thing :)

    It's not my place to tell you what to do, but my advice would be to stay away from him, for you so that you can move on, and for him because by telling him you love him you're kind of disrespecting his relationship with his current girlfriend. Just try to put yourself in her shoes, would you want his ex coming on to him?

    If you truly want to be with him, I'd say wait. Wait for his current relationship to play out and if things don't work out, tell him everything. Until then, wait.

    Sorry hun I know it's hard feeling this way :(

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  • why would you want to keep him in your life if you can't be with him? do you think that's fair to yourself... you'll just end up hurting seeing him with other women :(

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