I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago, somewhat impulsively as he said some hurtful things and I was going through a bunch of things and didn't want to burden him. I texted him a couple weeks later to try to reconcile, but he told me he hates me, I'm crazy, I can't handle when I have a headache (I got a concussion this year and asked him to take me to the doctor because I wasn't supposed to drive), and that I would be a terrible mother. I know he is an externalizer, meaning things are always someone else's fault, but he said some really cruel things. I broke up with him over the phone, which was wrong, but I put the blame on myself. I would still like to be friends with him at least, or see if we can work out our issues in a healthy way. Is this possible if he hates me so much? How can you say hate someone you loved?
Most Helpful Guy
The opposite of love is not hate, and the only thing it sounds like he hates is himself and the fact he no longer has control of the relationship.
Unless being emotionally abused and blamed for everything, because the other person is in denial and needs some professional counseling, I'm not sure what the point in reconciling with someone who possesses such an unhealthy mental state would do for you. I'm sure you have feelings for him, but your instinct had finally told you when you had had enough and got tired of getting your buttons pushed all the time.
I'm not sure he's capable of working anything out in a healthy way at this time, since he's acting like a young child. He'll continue to blame you for everything and wonder why nobody wants to pet him softly and give him a rectal thermometer of tender loving kindness while he's being an asshole. I mean, seriously? He wouldn't take you to the freaking doctor when you had a concussion or he resented doing it? Jesus Christ.
You did the right thing breaking up with him, and the next right thing to do is to start ignoring him and moving on to a healthier relationship with someone who can better handle their emotions.0