How can you say hate someone you loved?

I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago, somewhat impulsively as he said some hurtful things and I was going through a bunch of things and didn't want to burden him. I texted him a couple weeks later to try to reconcile, but he told me he hates me, I'm crazy, I can't handle when I have a headache (I got a concussion this year and asked him to take me to the doctor because I wasn't supposed to drive), and that I would be a terrible mother. I know he is an externalizer, meaning things are always someone else's fault, but he said some really cruel things. I broke up with him over the phone, which was wrong, but I put the blame on myself. I would still like to be friends with him at least, or see if we can work out our issues in a healthy way. Is this possible if he hates me so much? How can you say hate someone you loved?

Updates:
Thank you!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The opposite of love is not hate, and the only thing it sounds like he hates is himself and the fact he no longer has control of the relationship.

    Unless being emotionally abused and blamed for everything, because the other person is in denial and needs some professional counseling, I'm not sure what the point in reconciling with someone who possesses such an unhealthy mental state would do for you. I'm sure you have feelings for him, but your instinct had finally told you when you had had enough and got tired of getting your buttons pushed all the time.

    I'm not sure he's capable of working anything out in a healthy way at this time, since he's acting like a young child. He'll continue to blame you for everything and wonder why nobody wants to pet him softly and give him a rectal thermometer of tender loving kindness while he's being an asshole. I mean, seriously? He wouldn't take you to the freaking doctor when you had a concussion or he resented doing it? Jesus Christ.

    You did the right thing breaking up with him, and the next right thing to do is to start ignoring him and moving on to a healthier relationship with someone who can better handle their emotions.

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What Guys Said 4

  • don't put da blame on yerself basically... if he was an asshole and likes 2 blamin others... y do u cry? :-)

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  • You broke up with him and then tried to reconcile and he hates you and this is surprising? I don't understand why that's surprising. He has a good basis for strongly disliking you for quite some time.

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  • when someone i loved say he hates u it means they loves you more than their selves and they hate you for being hurt so much from the way you broke them up... ur boy loves u dear he just so angry as much as hd loved u he feel so ugly from this breaking up.

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  • You can hate someone you loved because feelings can change. In the same way you can love your favourite food, but if you was force fed 10 meals of it a day, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't love it anymore.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think he still has feelings for you, otherwise he would not be so emotional saying that he hates u.. but u hurt him and he is mad at u right now. U should give it a time and try to talk to him again without touching the relationship subject, just as u would talk to a friend and see how he reacts

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  • in most romantic movies, the girl said " i hate you! " to the boy but the girl still has feelings for the boy. So it might be that when he says i hate you, he still actually likes you

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