Most Helpful Guy
it's a minefield given your past relationship and kids. For the kdss' sake, you should not bring new people into their life unless you're at the point of moving in with someone else.
And you shouldn't bring casual dates into this arrangement ever. Don't bring them into this home.
Most Helpful Girl
There should be rules in place yes, in my opinion, if you're going to date try not to bring the date home, or make sure your ex is out if you do. Don't introduce another man to your kids unless the relationship is definitely serious, and if your kids don't seem to like for more than just liking their dad better, then dump him. Kids have a good sense about these things and I wish my own Dad would have realised that when he moved on with a new partner.
Probably best not to talk about your new partner around your ex to avoid the jealousy from coming up and boiling over, that would cause problems not just for you but for the kids too.
Your kids have almost everything to do with your dating too. Doesn't seem like it but they do. If your guy doesn't like kids, chances are he won't like yours. In turn they won't like him. Dump him. If your kids seem to get a weird vibe from him (you'd be able to tell if they act awkwardly around him for more than just the first few initial meetings) check his history with friends/family maybe even a few past relationships, and if it's not great news. Dump him.
The kids will hinder dating a little, but they always come first until they're old enough to support themselves.
It would though, in terms of your ex, be more beneficial to live in separate households. Neither of you will like it, the kids won't like it, but it will save broken hearts getting hurt even more in the long run. And save animosity from bubbling up and boiling over.
Nothing I say is solid fact, this is simply coming from one of the casualties of split parents. And horrid new partners.