Why do I miss someone that I was in a tough relationship with?

Hi to all. I'm having a hard time getting over my recent ex girlfriend. She meant/means the world to me. I was always there when she needed and I was always caring. She had trust issues for no particular reason (apart from her ex cheating), she rarely made time for me and she broke up with me for no particular reason (saying I wasn't serious, saying that we didn't understand each other, etc...) by text message. She may have not been over her ex, she spoke about him frequently and admitted to wanting to marry him at some point. We went out for 10 months but we never gave it much of a chance as seeing each other a few times a month when we live 15 minutes apart. We spoke everyday though. I really do love her and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing right now. I've been NC for 5 weeks with no news. I want to reach out but I can't. I was told I was selfish for staying in the relationship when I knew she wasn't happy. I miss her to death. Help? Insight please?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know why but I'm having a similar experience. Meat this girl it was magical we fooled around but she had a boyfriend but we were still together for around 10 months and whenever we were together it was the best thing ever. But she had a lot of problems I'm guessing. First of she never told me she had a boyfriend in the first place (ok.. I never asked) only after stuff began to happen. Then every couple of weeks there was something some kind of problem or something making her change her mind about us being involved. Anyway it ended when she finally decided to be in a committed relationship with me but in staid changed her mind a few days later and went back to her boyfriend. It was like I was dealing with somebody from primary school. Anyway we didn't talk for half a year and I mean no contact. I even meat a new girl and was beginning to date her when she came back all confused again and wanting something more. We dated or whatever for a few weeks and same story confusion again. And it's still going on! Same story she's all confused and I hate it but I can't stop myself from having fillings for her because it feels so great when we are together like nothing ever before.
    So I understand it's really bad for me because it sometimes tears me apart but I can't get over her especially when I try and she comes back into the picture screwing with my mind again. So I don't know yet hot to get this done. But I promise you that one day I'll get rid of this problem and everything is going to be ok.
    So good luck.

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    • Sorry to hear that you're going through that too. I guess I'm having difficulty with rejection at this point and the fact that we never gave this relationship a real chance. Emotionally unavailable people are dangerous to get attached to. Ughh

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    • Well whatever was said in anger doesn't really matter because when me and mine had a fight and she left me we stopped talking to each other for two months and I was so angry that I did some bad stuff (as in told some people what a bitch she was to me and I wish I didn't but it was done) and then we had a huge fight and didn't see each other for 6 months. The day she made contact again we talked about everything and withing hours we were hugging and kissing again.
      Like you said I'm not saying that I have everything figured out and that I'm a saint but one thing I do know is when I like someone and don't change my mind every few days and the hurt them by coming and leaving.
      I know it sounds like a cliche but I think mine might have these problems because of her family in particular her dad.
      Hope that she comes to her senses or I get to move on and find whatever I had with her with someone more stable.

    • Oh wow. Quite the story. Thank you for sharing and I hope that you can figure it out soon enough and better yet, I hope she realizes that she cares for you deeply and can make it more simple. I see that we are going through something similar. Only time will tell if she wants to come back. I just don't think it's up to me right now to chase her because she left me while I did nothing wrong per se. I cared for her, we all make mistakes but nothing bad enough to end what we had (or what I thought we had)

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What Girls Said 3

  • I don't know what to say. Since she's not over her ex boyfriend I think you should move on for your own good, I think you'll be happier with someone else who isn't thinking about their ex. When you enter a new relationship you're not supposed to be bringing up your ex. If your heart wants to reach out for her, if that feels like the right then do it..

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    • You're right. Exes aren't supposed to be a discussion piece in a new relationship. I don't know what feels right anymore to be honest

  • Is it because she is super hot?

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  • its normal but you'll get over it in time.

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    • I hope you're right. I hadn't been with someone in a long time. Got really attached. Do I keep up the NC and just go forward?

What Guys Said 1

  • i guess u had good moments together.. no? :-)

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    • Yeah, the best. We got along great

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