Why does my ex still want to keep in contact?

He broke up with me and it really hurt because he said that he would never leave me and would always love me. After the break up he called me to say that he still loved me but we weren't meant to be together then hung up and ignored me for almost 2 weeks and I tried texting he a few times and I got no answer so I gave up. A few days after sending my last text he contacts me again to confuse me even more then ignore me so I sent him a text that I don't ever want to talk to him.

He leaves me alone for about a month then I get a call from him 2 times last month then 2 times this month. All he asks is how I'm doing but other then that he has nothing to say. He did ask if I was seeing anyone and I told him I'm not ready for that yet and he told me he wants me to find someone because he just wants me to be happy.

It's been 3 months since the break up and I still feel sad because he still contacts me and I can't move on.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • When someone breaks up with you, dumps you, leaves you, QUITS, gives up on you, and throws the relationship away like it's disposable, yet requests 'friendship', it is a self-centered smack in the face. They are basically asking you to graciously accept an emotional, mental, and physical demotion in their hearts and during their journey. Forget your own significant grieving process and the heartache THEY HAVE CAUSED, please just be their friend and be accessible when they need you. -_- Not cool.

    Typically, "dumpers" do this to either relieve their own guilt or for the sake of their ego. They may realize that they are assholes for hurting you and bringing you heartache so you reconfirming that things are 'cool' between you guys by actually picking up the phone when they call or knowing that you'll reciprocate when they reach out to you relieves their guilt. They don't want to be friends for your sake: THEY WANT TO BE FRIENDS FOR THEIR SAKE. Either that or there's some sick, disgustingly selfish ego trip involved where in some twisted way, you have become ego fuel for them. Your attention is a 24 hour ATM.

    When someone dumps you, follow their lead by cutting them out of your life and not inviting or including them into your mind, heart, or journey anymore. It is ABSOLUTELY your right to do that. You shouldn't have to be distracted by them. You need to go through your grieving process IN A HEALTHY WAY without being distracted by them. It's really effing selfish and fucked up for him to act that way.
    I suggest you be upfront and tell him that you cannot be friends with him because he basically demoted you and gave you a lower rank after smashing your heart. Then delete and block him from everywhere. Ignore his calls and focus on you.

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    • Thanks you helped me realize a lot :)

    • @Asker You are so very welcome! Please remember these words.

      thanks for MHO :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • I've been there, done that. And if you ask my view, these are guys who are too afraid to own up to their own feelings for the girls they like.

    Been through that stage of pain - I was crying every weekend at home thinking why does everything have to be so hard.. But you know what? It is pointless staying faithful/stuck to your ex.

    Take some time to cry it off (I took a lot more time than you, so you're on the right tract) - and after that, give yourself a chance: go meet other people, give other guys a chance, you'll eventually be out of this despair and who knows, your ex might actually regret it when he sees you again :)

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    • No offense, but this answer isn't very productive and it's just going to give her false hope.

  • you should block him.

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