Girls, I actually do want to be just friends with the woman that dumped me?

So, my relationship of 1 year ended when my girlfriend told me she was a lesbian. I was her first serious boyfriend and the first person she came out to followed shortly by her gay male roommate and her lesbian couple roommates. She told me she did love me but through out our entire relationship she was only pretending to be attracted to me. Not to mention pretending to enjoy having sex with me, which we did often. I was completely convinced it was great for both of us. I was wrong. I'm not sure if you girls can understand how crushing that is to hear for a guy. Sex is a confidence thing for men and now I pretty much have none and as a consequence have had absolutely zero sex drive since. Finding out she didn't want to date me for reasons entirely out of my control hit me pretty hard and I kept to myself for about a month. I came to terms with that and wanted to rekindle the friendship that she said was so important to her, but when I reached out to her to ask to catch up she said it would be to hard to see me and doesn't want to lead me on. She won't be leading me on though because like I said I don't want to sleep with anybody especially not someone who won't enjoy it. I just miss her company and I miss having someone to confide in, she was sorta my only close friend. I was never mad at her for breaking up with me or even lying about her attraction to me, but now that she's avoiding my totally platonic texts and invites it's making me feel like the friend part of our relationship was pretend too and that really really hurts. Is there anything I can do to get my best friend back, did I ever have one? I'm hoping to hear from gay women that have been in her position, but any insight would be appreciated.


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What Girls Said 2

  • If i were you i wouldn't push any type of relationship on her. Friends or otherwise. She clearly isn't ready to have you in her life wether it be something you saod or your behavior during the breakup or maybe she feels guilty about hurting you and therefore can't have you in her life. Whatever it may be friendship is a two way street and she is telling you she's not in the right place for it so you have to respect that, as hard as it may be.

  • i think you should just let this one go...


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