What's going on in her mind!?!?!?!?

OK, Long story then compressed version, then question

I am a teenager, and Mormon, and I'm in the band. Last year (around now, during playoffs) an alumni came into the stands, and I had no idea who she is, so I pay little attention. She talks to the tuba player who I'm friends with behind me and I join in, after a couple more games and talking a lot, I break up with my girlfriend, and the next game I kiss this girl (the one I am speaking of) and we start going out

Its really hard going out, my parents wouldn't allow it (if I told them) and there was a large age difference for high school

It lasted a while, we got good at sneaking out (mostly on my part) and I sacrificed and risked a ridiculous amount for her, just to see her or talk to her, and she made me feel amazing, more then any other girl until or sense then

Then she has to go back to college, about three hours away and we can rarely see each other and we always have class, it goes on for a while but during a call at midnight my protective sister (whom I love) listens in and calls this girl, telling her to stop, and gives a heads up to my parents, so we halfway broke up

Things slowed down from there, no more phone calls, we still talked a lot, I wasn't able to see her at all and one day It just stopped

This was in February, we haven't talked much and she is in town again, and she went to a football game and we saw each other but neither of us talked

I have been trying to forget about her but this make it very hard, because there is still the possibility she loves me, she was talking about marrying me all the time, she swore to her best friend she would someday. I am afraid to ask what's going on and if she still likes me, even as a friend

more to follow after short

SHORT VERSION

K so there was this girl, we went out I loved each other dearly, the breakup wasn't clean, now almost a year later things and kinda strange and I'm afraid to ask what's going through her head

EVERYONE

Yeah so I want y'alls advice on what I should do, should I email her this huge long email explaining everything that's going on in my head that I wrote to vent?

Should I ask her?

Should I do anything? (If I don't it will haunt me possibly forever)

Thank you all
What's going on in her mind!?!?!?!?
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