Ok sooo affair is over and I'm so sad. How do I get over it quick and how long does it freakin last?

Ok so been with my hubby for 4 yes married for 2. We have a daughter together and he has a son from a previous marriage. For over a year I have been having an emotional and somewhat physical affair with a man I know from school. I'm not proud of it and I will that cliche thing everyone says which is I never felt like this for anyone before. Ahh gosh did I really say that? I need my sangria.

Anywho, this other guy, is much older than me which I'm always attracted to. He's an alpha male and a flirt which I know isn't good. I'm not delusional about him I know I would never leave my husband for him because it would not work in the real world. I just want to have my cake and eat it too. This guy however is amazing and makes me feel passionate it's so intoxicating. He often drops conversations with other girls for me and usually seeks me out in groups. We went through a rough period where he didn't talk to me for 2 months and he seemed angry with me. He seems angry whenever I get too carried away with conversation with other men in our school. When I tried to cut it off with him because guilt, he seemed Hurt and that's when he ignored me for like 2 months. But he came back around and seeked me out.

This last semester we have gotten so close and he's gone out of his way to give me rides and see me. He won't commit to full on visiting outside of school hours anymore possibly because I denied him to meet when his girlfriend was out of town and when he wanted to come to my house one time "to drop my book off"

I have a daughter and would never subject her to my affair. I don't want to hurt my husband or my daughter but the passion as overall feel good feeling with him has been gone for most of the relationship. He treats me so well but I often wonder if I just stayed on a rebound relationship for wayyy to long. I constantly feel trapped and he never takes me seriously when I say I want to leave and guilts me with our baby but I can't get this other guy out of my he


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you've been cheating on your husband for a year then you clearly don't love him anymore so you might as well get divorced. Also cheating on your husband isn't a very good example to set for your daughter

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    • It's a horrible example but again I'm just looking for someone who has been through this, how long does it take to get over this side guy? Does a rebound marriage get better? What do you do to expedite the process of getting someone out of your selfish brain?

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    • Yes thanks. The passion has been gone. It came back for like two months but never did again. Some people say it will come back but I don't want to keep hurting him in the mean time. thanks

    • No problem and good luck with everything

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • You are wrong and karma is going to find some way to shit all over your soul the way you are secretly doing to your husband. And for what? So that you could encourage a man to downgrade his sense of integrity by engaging a married woman? So that you cold have the attention of a man who is sleazy, tactless, self-absorbed, and careless enough to get involved with you knowing that his presence by nature will indirectly break your child's heart?

    You will never be able to trust this man and you are foolish for so passionately going down this path.

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    • Maybe karma will throat punch me in the future. However kind of looking for someone who has been through this experience. How long has it taken to get over, what has he or she done? Did marriage ever get better? That kind of stuff.

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    • Have you been through this event or seen it happen? I'm looking for REAL advice please and thank you. I'm all for this opinion if I know you have something substantial to back it up. Unless you are the Dalai Llama, than I wil just take the advice and smile. Are you married? Do you fight temptation? How do you fight it?

    • So my advice isn't 'REAL advice' because I've had too much respect and consideration for my partners to ever stoop to your level?
      Stop deluding yourself and telling yourself that any female who's not a homerecking whore like yourself has nothing substantial to contribute to the topic of your sleazy, disgusting choice.

  • If you aren't in love then why not move on? It will hurt. Losing something/someone is hard... get a new hobby or try to make friends with someone else. Or work out. What would you tell your daughter to do if she was in your situation.

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    • Mostly because whenever i hurt for my daughter but also when I kick him out he doesn't stay away and when I try to leave he does everything in his power to get me back including using our daughter. It's such a hard position to be in when you emotionally have checked out but you feel trapped.

  • You should follow your heart.

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