Getting in touch with my ex girlfriend?

So its been 2 months since my ex girlfriend for a year and a half dumped me. I went no contact for a few weeks which she got extremely pissed at leaving crazy voivemails, which I ignored. Eventaully I called her back and we started talking just a little. I would ignore her sometimes because I didn't feel like talking and she would just get even more angry and say you said you would talk to me... but I honestly just wanted to talk under my conditions and when i felt I was ready. So while talking later on we agreed to meet up somewhere for a quick coffee or something. She wanted to talk to try to be on good terms and stay very good friends (I was one of her best friends), but I dont know if I could do that because I still love her. She just wanted to to go out and have fun without a boy friend. She told me she still loves me, just not in a romantic way. Anyways both of our meet ups I couldnt go to, I had to help out a friend and the next I was feeling terrbile. Then we got into an agrugment over the phone because I told her I didn't want to hear about her prom plans which she was trying to tell me which I was supposed to be going to, and now she's going with her best friends boyfriend which I think is weird. I felt like she was essentially rubbing it in. So I told her I dont want to hear about it, then she hung up. She sent me a text later saying she doesn't want to meet up anymore cuz I keep bailing on her, and to have a nice life. I've been thinking about this for the past week non-stop. Its weird because after all she's said I still want to meet with her. My friend said I should send a simple message saying "hey if you still want to meet up i'd be up for it, let me know". Do you think this is a good idea?
Hey JohnBhoy94,
The situation changed after a few messages I received in a row. She just needed someone to talk to, someone in her family died. Which is why I don't know about asking for a date. I would like to see her again but don't have anything to gain. She only wants friends, and I don't know if I could do that considering I still look at her as more than just a friend. Should I just talk on the phone if she calls me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • No DON'T, because you'll give her all the control.

    If she has contacted you first once, she'll contact you again - present actions state future tendencies.

    What you need to do now is go back to no contact and stay there till she contacts you again.

    When she does THEN you can ask her out.

    I'm quite sure if you send her the text right now, she'll either not respond or tell you she doesn't want to.

    Her being angry and picking fights means she still cares - no doubt...

    I'll give it a 60 to 70 % chance she'll contact you again.

    Please... do NOT send her the text.

    Keep me up to date, and let me know how it goes!

    • Hey man, it's been three weeks since she sent me anything... finally today I got the text "Hi can we talk?". I haven't said anything back yet and am totally wondering what to do? She also asked if I could phone her? Its weird because today I messaged my buddy who was my ex-girlfriends best friend's ex boyfriend for the first time in a few weeks. He's a really nice guy and we became close friends because we got dumped within the same week. So while I was messaging him, I got the text from my ex and sent it to him. He said he got the same message from his ex-girlfriend. "She misses him". I'm not 100% sure, but they might have been together, although the texts weren't sent at the same time. While driving home, I drove by her house, (just the main road back to my house, not stalking), and I saw her getting off the bus. Pretty crazy timing considering she could have been at any bus stop and I could have been at any red light, so she was not home clearly. Should I call her, see whats up?

    • Don't call her, send her a text reply.

      Tell her this "Hey it's nice to hear from you, I'd love to see you. How about we make some dinner together, when are you free?"

      This is effectively asking her out. If she says yes, then you're in... make sure it's at YOUR house (she dumped you). Just have fun and hook up.

      If she says no just say "Well that's a shame. Let me know when you change your mind. Till then have a good one!"

      In my opinion she's more likely to say yes... she's texted you and asked you to call her.

      Good luck!

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • good idea!


What Guys Said 3

  • It never fails to amaze me how after ripping your heart shreds, some women than get upset that you do not contact them.

    How they want to stay friends, and expect you to be there for them and do all the little things you used to do for them.

    The real kicker are the ones that just break up with you with no explanation, than out of the blue call you with an attitude about you not calling them to find out how they are doing.

  • If you still love her and want her back you need to keep yourself in her thoughts. I know it sucks im in almost the same situation rn. Pm me if you need advice or wanna rant.

  • not bad bro... she initiated afer all didn't she?


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