Guys, am I holding on for nothing?

I've been dating this guy for almost two years now, almost a month into our relationship he messes up that made me lose trust for him. He tried so hard after to prove that he changed but I was so blinded by worries that I couldn't see it. It made me mean and hurtful to him more than half the time. He put up with it because he loved me, one week I was so bad that I told him I hated him. I was so hurtful that I pushed him away. He told me he loves me but he's not in love with me
And he didn't want to continue our reletionship. We were very close and were deeply connected. It's so hard for me to except this and I've tried talking to him. I want to fight for him I just don't know if it's worth it. I don't want to get hurt even more


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