My boyfriend broke up with me and I feel okay?

My boyfriend and I had been together 7 months. He broke up with me Friday due to arguments while we were under the influence (mainly me getting quite nasty with my words), it's an issue I have and need to work on. I was distraught and begged him and begged him to just meet to talk, he agreed to come over last night. He came over, we talked but didn't really sort much out, we agreed we would have a break until after my holidays as I am away for 3 weeks on Monday, we had sex... then of course I started to cry. He asked why I was crying, I told him because I would miss him. I told him I love you, he said I know when he usually would always say it back and had said it in text that day. He was just being so cold, no cuddles, no empathy, just cold like he didn't care. Then he just got up and said I'm leaving, I asked him not to go, he just turned looked at me with dead eyes and said No I'm leaving. This was at 3 am. I cried and cried and cried, like I haven't cried before. He text me a sharp text turning it all round on me and saying he does love me and care for me but he hopes I'm nicer to my next boyfriend.

I haven't heard from him since, I have deleted his number to stop myself texting or calling him. The thing is, this morning I thought I was literally going to die, my heart was breaking but I just feel so used, it kind of made me see him in a different light where I realized I didn't like him. Now I just feel calm and at peace, yeah sometimes my stomach dips a little and I haven't got much of an appetite but I feel strangely fine. Content. Passed the begging stage, past the hoping he texts stage. It's like I just don't care. Is this normal after only 3 days?

I'm 22, he's 29


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This may sound a little morbid but a proper breakup in my opinion is a bit like going through the loss of a loved one, you go through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I think a common misconception is you do all these in a chronological order but in truth i feel like you move back and forth between them until they finally fizzle down and you move on. As you feel now maybe its a bit of denial You don't believe you ever loved him and you feel like your fine. But you know what sweets thats fine. You'll probs go through these roller coaster of emotions for the next few weeks/months and don't worry about it. At some point you will meet another guy and this will put things into perspective. Good luck and if you ever need a listening ear Justabitstuck x

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • guess it'll take some time... can u stay friends wid him at least?

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    • I would like to be friendly with him once I am over him. I don't think I could be just friends at the moment.

  • if u feel ok it's good... but maybe u didn't love him anyway?

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  • You are glad! Strong woman independant who can move on right away, that's the spirit
    Some are broken and can't let it go.. you're doing good!

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What Girls Said 6

  • Well, everyone is different but the general rule of thumb is that it takes either 13 weeks or half what the duration of the relationship was to get over it.

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  • It's not really normal but good for you! =]

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  • It may not be normal for a normal relationship, but when someone shows us a side we haven't seen it may make things easier in the end.

    You were hurt and grieving because you do love him, but maybe now, after a few days, you've seen that you have a pressure off of you. Maybe you're subconsciously realizing the relationship wasn't making you as happy as you thought.

    I've been there. I fought for a relationship like an crazy girl who is being broken up with, because I thought I would be miserable without him (or maybe miserable alone). The first day I had off work, and I realized I could do all the things he hated me doing, I felt a HUGE relief, and am now looking for someone who makes me happy.

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  • I don't know... Are you over him or did he just make your heart numb?

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    • How can you tell the difference? Lol

    • Show All
    • When I think about some good times we had my stomach dips a little and I feel a little sad but then I remember how cold he was last night and think yes, breaking up is what I wanted because I don't want to be with someone that has total disregard for my feelings. Maybe at times I feel a little angry but I feel at peace with the decision he's made. I feel like I'll miss the company but not him.

    • So would you say you're moody now? I think that's normal then. Maybe you're upset about it but glad it's over. But I often have mood swings after a break up

  • its normal! its good you're over it

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  • give it a few months.

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