Men and Women: What are some phrases or things I can tell my boyfriend when he brings his ex up?

I've told him already that I'm not one of his friends that he should keep it to himself. He said OK and he won't. The reason is because I don't bring my exes up anymore because that's the past. I just need other ways to get it through to him that I don't care about his and hers relationship I care about ours and that's it. I told him I don't care if she knows were together and I've also ignored him when he talks about her. He pretty much gets the hint it still happens and it's annoying. Someone that has gone through this please help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here's your options:

    1) Move on

    2) Correct the issue

    3) Ignore the issue

    4) Get p*ssy, which won't resolve anything

    5) Don't do anything

    1) Do this if you are sick of everything and not wanting to work it out anymore, you've given him the notifications required (for meaningful relationships) to allow him an opportunity to stop what is bothering you.

    2) Say something like "It bothers me when you talk about your ex, let alone when you interact with her, or even think about her. Let's work this out so that it doesn't become a problem" <-- This will open the door to a conversation- express your feelings afterwards and give reasons as to why- then reciprocate the feeling and let him express himself.

    3) You could ignore the issue and let it dig at you until you explode. I personally recommend you dont. By ignoring the issue you will bury these thoughts when a) it's not socially acceptable to do anything that regards an "ex"; b) you are bothered about the situation; and c) the issue hasn't been resolved.

    4) Yell, scream, rant, and complain about everything - get hostile and say that he doesn't appreciate his feelings. This will, for certain, push him away because he won't understand the blatant attack. He was merely talking about a subject <-- so he thought when it actually bothers you. By exploding, you aren't getting the point across that it bothers you unless he is trying to "read" your reactions. People can't read minds, stay away from option 4)

    5) Sit back and kick back, realise why he is trying to discuss his ex - a) was he really caring about her; b) is what she currently doing bothering your man?; c) etc and so forth...

    I recommend "option 1" or "option 2" (1) Move on; (2) Correct the issue.

    Best regards,

    ArtistBBoy

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    • Hey thanks for the best answer- I hope the information helps =)

    • Your very welcome. Yes I will apply it and your right those are the only two options I have the information was great. Thanks for taking the time to read my response.

    • =) My pleasure, if I can do anything more for you let me know.

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What Guys Said 1

  • "He pretty much gets the hint it still happens and it's annoying."

    It is more than annoying. The official word is ABUSE. And it looks like it is intentional. If it is unintentional, his EQ is lower than a 10 years old kid, no matter how high his IQ is.

    Many control freaks use this tactic to control/manipulate their prey's emotions. When they see that you're annoyed/angered, they are pleased; thinking they have successfully controlled your emotions; truly sadistic they're. One thing control freaks canNOT control is their desire to control others. So, if he argues with excuses such as "I can't help it", or "it is the way I am", RUN, because you're dealing with a psycho.

    You should point blank confront him, and ask him, "You keep bringing up your ex(s) in front of me, WHAT are your motivations?" Don't be afraid, if he is a control freak, he is well prepared for confrontation like this, i.e. struggles from his prey. So, if he argues with excuses such as "I can't help it", or "it is the way I am", RUN, because you're dealing with a psycho.

    It is a good idea to check if he has these tendencies, or potentials >>> link

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What Girls Said 3

  • I've gone through this almost exactly. I think that guys just don't get it sometimes.. however, he might be doing it to see how you react. If he continues to talk about previous relationships he's probably trying to make you jealous, that's how some people are. Not just guys, girls, too. If he doesn't quit it after you've told him about 3 or 4 times to stop, I'd actually sit down and talk with him about it. Tell him how it makes you feel like you aren't confident in the relationship that you two have and that it makes you feel like he's comparing you all's relationship to one's that he has had in the past.

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  • It's a process to stop bringing those things up... Make it clear to him, and make an agreement that it's not something you two will discuss. But, you telling him to hold back communication - wise means that you are opening Pandora's Box. He will probably still tell the same stories, but lie by adding "my friend" instead... Opening the door to lies in your communication.

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  • You could always start talking about how your ex had a big d***… ;-)

    Or just make it clear it's not okay. Tell him you'll see him tomorrow if he wants to talk about his ex, then go through with it if he doesn't stop. It sounds manipulative, but it's perfectly reasonable to say "I can't be around that" to anyone if you're being honest.

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