Why is breaking up after a fairly long time seen as bad?

Okay this is a concept that always bothered me. You date someone for a year and break up. No big deal right? You are unhappy in the relatonship so it's for the best. But when you date someone for let's say 5 years and decided to break up because you are no longer happy people see it as you just wasted a person's life. I've honestly met a person who have said, "Doesn't matter it one person is unhappy in the relationship it wrong and rude to leave after such a long time." I really thought it was a joke, but no she was serious.

All I could think was,"It's wrong to leave a relationship that you're unhappy with? It's rude not to pretend that everything is fine?" I honestly think people pay more attention to the amount of time people are together that the quality of the relationship itself. It's doesn't matter it you with a person 2,3,5 or even 10 years, if you're no happy it's best to leave.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If your unhappy, it doesn't matter how long, you should still put up the fight to hold onto them. I crawled for my ex before she started cheating on me, does it mean effort wasted, no. It just means that I put up the fight that she couldn't. Life and romance aren't fairytales, it isn't happy ever after. I'm sure Cinderella and Prince Charming had their fights, whether silly or serious after the book ended. It's not realistic to think that you always have to be happy with the person, rough times, tough times, hard times, if the struggle is there then it can be good times. My ex thought love is supposed to be a fairytale, I'm not being facetious about it, she would say, "it's not supposed to be like this." She would say I don't know much in love because I haven't been in many relationships, but I can't rebound, I'm not that good at basketball, and I can't cheat, so poker is out of the question. She chuckled when she said she was sorry but I'm much much happier with the other guy, but a couple weeks later they ended. At least I know that I will give my all to someone, and have the heart to not do what she did in the times it was tough. Love, it's a fight, it will hurt, but in the end it's not worth tossing. I'll burn my white flag and go through it all over again, but love is supposed to be stubborn, not perfect for one or the other.

    P. S. This is just my thoughts, I wasn't rubbed the wrong way. I'm just saying love is tough, not easy, but it's worth the fight.

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What Girls Said 5

  • It isn't a bad thing. It means the person who left accepted things for what they are, and made a conscious choice to move on and do what is better for them.

    The stigma attached to it is the assumption that you "should" have known before so much time had passed. The thing people fail to realize is the majority of the time, both parties do know, and one or both still try to make things work, you make compromises, go to counseling whatever. That isn't wasted time or effort, it's trying to salvage something that you have already invested a lot in. Sometimes it isn't possible

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  • I guess it makes people lose hope in relationships to last?

    But that would be 100% wrong to stay in any relationship when your not happy. It's not fair to the other person. Who ever says that's wrong to leave a relationship when your not happy is really dumb.

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  • Actually its not bad.. I agree with what you've said, its not about the length of time, its about the quality spent together and the good memories..
    It's simple, if both are not happy, assess the situation and make a way to be happy again. If it doesn't work and gets worse, forgive then leave..
    Forcing to be in unhappy relt'p for the sake of length of time and other factors makes things more complicated..

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  • i agree with you, if you're not happy in a relationship (&have tried to work on it with your partner to no avail) then its best to leave.

    it just hurts to effing bad lol

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  • It's like time wasted.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Well, I think they are just lamenting the 5 years that you can't get back. If they lived with the guy, they might see it differently.

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  • maybe coz u were attached 2 each other? :)

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  • B/c it's hard to say "chemistry" was the reason for the breakup. Clearly, someone fucked up so who was it and what happened. People dating would just be looking for red flags.

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