Last year I liked this guy. We were seeing each other for 2 months. He ended it and I thought it was because of my depression. He told me I was irritable. I tried to discuss it with him but he ignored me. I took being ignored as validation that I was worthless. I would have panic attacks and lash out. I didn't think I was insulting him; I just thought I was worthless. Him and my friend of 10 years ignored me for months while bonding. They told me 3 months later they were going to date and I was a mess. Am I really horrible? He thinks I was angry at him but I was depressed and angry at myself. I would like to discuss this with them because I see them everywhere and am reminded of my depression. I just want to move on.
Most Helpful Guy
To be honest it sounds like to me that they just used whatever problems you were having as a excuse to ease their guilty conscience.
I understand that battling with depression is hard. There were times I just wanted to give up and I slept a lot, it was a rough patch in my life. I think anyone can fall into a depression just some are more susceptible then others.
I don't think your horrible, to be honest I think that both of them are to some extent. I understand that when two people like each other sometime others are going to get hurt, like what you are experiencing. However they should have been honest with you, especially your friend, at the very least if she couldn't have supported you because she like him she could have been honest with you about it.
That being said I think you should try to find it in your heart to sincerely forgive them, its a hard thing to do, I have had great hate and anguish in my heart and it is heavy and hard to bear, it took me many years but eventually when I forgave those who make me feel that way I felt better. So do this if you are able and try to move on, cry if you must, and find true friends/family you can confide in and trust to help you through this time.
Also if you are having a hard time with depression you may want to see people about that and have them make a diagnosis if you already haven't sometimes it is chemical imbalance that messes with your emotions like that. I hope what I said help you and you can heal your wounded heart0
Most Helpful Girl
Jesus. Horrible selfish people
The only closure you need is removing people like that from your life
I understand how hard it is seeing them, it reminds you of a hard time in your life- I've been there too.
Depression and panic attacks are two things I have recovered from myself.
Please realise that you have don't nothing wrong and you have no reason to have any hard feelings towards yourself.
It's hard to be happy when you're surrounded by assholes so I hope that they don't play a part in your life, especially that friend.
When you see them, try to think positively. You survived a negative time in your life and have left them behind. Don't think of how hard those times were, but think of what you learnt and how much better you are doing now1
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