Did I do the right thing by breaking up with her?

My girlfriend and I had been dating for 2 years, (all long distance). We visited each other one last time before we were going to move in together this summer. This trip made me realize that I was not going to be happy with her though. She was overlly jealous, said "she wanted to move in with me to keep other girls away", and she didn't want me meeting other people in college (even guys). I was staying with her to make her happy and not me. I noticed I changed who I was for her, to make her happy, and she wasn't right for me. I couldn't be myself and she didn't want anyone else to be involved in our lives besides us.

I felt bad about breaking up after 2 years but she reacted by telling all her friends/family I cheated on her. (I never did anything to make her think this and was always faithful)

So, did I do the right thing by breaking it off before we moved in together in the summer? She called me a coward for "not fighting for our relationship", so I need honest opinions.

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  • No.
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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you genuinely weren't happy then yes, you did do the right thing. But I do see her point about fighting for the relationship... However if you didn't love her then that clearly wasn't going to happen. Long distance puts a lot of strain on one's relationship and I think she did love you, and her trying to cut off your social life was a reaction to not being able to see you or know what's going on in your life. As for the lie she told at the end... She obviously felt hurt and it really is hard to accept that someone has fallen out of love with you. By saying you've cheated it means that she will get more sympathy from her family and friends and more comfort during a hurtful situation. Also, despite you saying you were a loyal guy all the long distance combined with "not fighting" for her would lead to insecurities. But again. I cannot stress enough that you definitely did the right thing leaving a relationship that was no longer fun for you because you should never feel trapped with your girlfriend.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I think you made a huge mistake by keeping all of it inside of you for so long. You obviously didn't like what she was doing and instead of talking nicely about it and trying to fix the issue (for example put a dates where you will be with her and dates with your friends, and so on) you were probably just waiting and holding it, until it was too late. People often do this, it's the lack of communication and compromise, especially in LDRs. So basically by not talking about it came to this and you broke up with her, which is the only thing left to do. So in my opinion I think you did more wrong then her and I think that yes, it could've been fixed with more communication. But if you lost all interest then it's too late.

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    • I completely agree with your point. However, I discussed it with her over the course of a year and always tried to discuss the issue in a constructive way. It always came to the point where she said I had to cut people out of my life for us to continue dating, and I did. That was a year ago and it was my fault for staying with her that long and thinking it would change. Whenever I discussed it with her, she said she didn't understand why she wasn't enough for me and why I wanted to talk to other people. She said it was something about her that wasn't going to change, that I had to find a way to deal with it. I agree, communication probably could of been better. But she made me cut people out of my life, and that's not healthy on any level if she can't let me be my own person.

    • Oh okay I thought you didn't discussed it with her. Then yeah, you should've break up on the first sign. I guess she's just the way she is and the two of you were just not compatible. But I mean of course you gonna cut some time with people in your life to be with her, she deserved some time with you as well. I can only understand her if you didn't give her any attention and if she always came as a backup plan to you. Like for example if the two of you made plans to hang out on Friday and then you ditch her to hang out with your friends, that's not cool. But besides that, she was being too insecure and possessive, and since she didn't change on your warnings then it's a good thing to break up.

    • I completely understand and agree with your points. Thank you for offering a different view on things! I appreciate you commenting!

  • yes you did the right thing by breaking up, she is the definition of a control freak and it would have only gotten worse if you two continued. she would probably start calling to check why you werent coming home straight away if u were a minute late and all sorts.

    find someone who makes you happy, dont feel guilty if your needs aren't being met

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  • Honestly if you weren't happy then she's not the right person to spend ur life with. Dating is what u do to test out people to see if they r right for u. If you weren't happy and she's not right for you then Ik it sucks but it's for the best. I think ultimately u did the right thing. You have to be happy with someone bc u will spend ur whole life with them. Happiness is one of the most important things in a relationship and it wasn't there

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  • why would you settle for less?

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  • it was the right thing.

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What Guys Said 2

  • coward? u didn;t do anything cowardish in my opinion...

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  • Just the fact she started lying about you post relationship tells you enough man

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