Due to the past, I told her to do not drink anymore or I would break up with her. But she thinks that I prison her, I live in the past, I dont trust her. And being drunk is nothing serious. So I would like you give her some suggestions to make her realize my fear and my love. We are at the stage of enganement, and I came out to my mom ( my country is very conserative ) , and I met her family and they all know that we are getting married soon. I am 31, she is 27, we are both girlish girl, Dating for 2 years. Living together for 1 year.
Word From her.
"The fact is you forbid me to be social, if I can not go to bar with my friends then I can not do anything, I do not mind to not drink and you know that, the point is I refuse all the party things because of you, and if I do so you will get jealous or ask to come with you.
Of course is not normal from you to go to bar when you ask me to even do not drink one glass.
I do not want get drunk or go to club. I want have a normal social life: Drink a glass of wine, even at home, or during a diner. Be able to have an afterwork beer with my coworker."
< I haven't go to bar for a year for us, but she did sometimes. And I seldom drink for her as well to show her that a normal life can be happy with alcohol. And I planed to go to a dine maybe a bar called " bar A sth", which is chosen by my friend, at 6:30 with a friend she knows and free to join>
It's due to the past and will effect the future. So why I forbidden her even for one glass now.
Long story. Be patient.
- Break up with herVote A
- Give her last chance but be sure to break up if she drinks againVote B
- Stay with her now. The past is past, drinking is under her controlVote C
- She should see a Dr both for her psychical and physical conditionVote D
- Ask her to show you some real action and decide to be with her or notVote E
The deepest fear and hurt still inside of me is her betrayal. She kissed 2 girls in front of my friends and me in the party. She had one night stand with a stranger for once when she is drunk. She cheated on me for like a week and told me she is too drunk and the girl keep flirting her. I broke up and came back to her several times later coz she promised that she is too drunk and being stupid but it will never happen again. It never happens again for more than one year
When she is drunk, she can’t remember anything the second day. Her last time admitted blackout is two month before and lost her phone and bag when I was in another city for the first night. But she told me nothing happened when she came back in the morning. The only thing I can do it to trust her story. But she doesn’t think it’s a problem even for losing memory.
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And I called her sometime when I think it’s the time for her party or dinner or coffee to is finished as she told me, but she was already drinking or even went to a bar without telling me. I am fine with that girlfriend go out with friend and get an extra plan later. But I am not fine that she even doesn't care about telling me in advance when I am waiting for dinner or movie with her. Move over, when I started to call, she will not answer or tell me she doesn't know when she will be back. (usually very late or in the morning) And she can me control freak coz I keep calling.—but I am so panic for her going home and being drunk and started to curse me.
6. Party animal coworker
There are two guys at her work so wasted and stupid. They went out all the time for party and even smoke weeds and drink liquor at work. Can you imagine how shitty and crazy teenager they are. Once my girlfriend lied and slept at his place after a party, I told her to stay away from him. --The guy likes her but my girlfriend doesn't at least for sure when she is sober. And one month after sleeping in his apt, my girlfriend wants a HIV test--But later she still talked to him for funny things, set up party with him. But she always told me that it’s a normal coworker relationship. I m not jealous about him, but I am worry about this kind of shit person will
For more than one year and half since she worked in this company, I never have any party with her coworker (not invited to). And I met this guy for 3 times near her office, but he never even say hi to me. And she doesn't want to tell me which bar she is in coz I am going to blow off her party and embarrass her. (I am really not that kind of crazy bitch). It’s strange anyway, but I still prefer to trust her.
7 No time control and freedom.
For the past 2 month, she drank 3 times. 1st time, blackout and lost stuff and I lost contact with her for 14 hr. 2nd time, drank at friend apt, came back home at 3am during working day. 3rd time, went to a bar, told me finish at 8 PM ( A beer and relax with coworkers story she away think she can do including the party guy), but came back home 5 or 6 am the second morning.
That night was little special coz at 8pm I told her our cat is dying and I am in the hospital. (She is not a animal person. She doesn't like my cat that much, but we have the cat for more the one year.) My cat has been sick for one month, and she is very impatient with it.0