My goodbye letter to my ex (I'm never going to send it). I just felt like writing my feelings down.

Dear Ryan.

You said you loved me. You said you wanted marriage. You said you were the guy for me, and I was the girl for you. You broke it off. You lost feelings for me. Now everything is all about you, and nothing is about me, anymore. I wanted an us, and all you gave me was, a separate you and I. Maybe it was all about you in the end, and nothing you ever said was about really about me. Maybe you don't know the meaning of forever. Maybe you just lack all of the qualities I fell in love with you for. I thought you were dedicated, honest, responsible and sweet. Those were all the characteristics I fell in love with you for. Now I'm not so sure. You put me through a dead end drive. And you called me up one day and said, "hey here is the cliff. I'm pushing you over. goodbye, and have nice jump. Maybe you'll find some of your dreams on your way down." Thanks for being everything that you said you were not going to be. Thanks for ruining my dreams of us. Thanks for making me feel a month of sadness instead of happiness. Thanks for giving me yet another crappy birthday to look back on. Like you said, you'd always love me. I guess your not as honest, nor as sweet, as I thought you were. You ended up being an entirely different person then the guy I fell in love with. The guy I fell in love with would have never done those things to me. Thanks for nothing. Thanks for the emptiness, thanks for the incomplete, thanks for everything you couldn't be, and thanks for never being sweet. Your awful.

Love michelle.

I didn't capitalize my name, because that is how small you make me feel, and so stupid at the same time for still loving you.

Updates:
This guy is a an asshole. There is no way in hell I want to send him anything like this. I called him one time since the break up, yesterday and he blocked my number. What a disappointment he turned out to be. Thanks for nothing. 2 years wasted.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First off I'm sorry that you feel this way. We have all been there.

    Please don't send this letter to him. Think of it as something you did and didn't share with him... I wrote constantly and my ex knows that. I have shared some of my "poems" with him and they shocked him to the core (not always in a good way) and I know, he knows I still write about him. But I will never send it to him. Because when I look back, I'm like dam! That's how I felt and I compare it to how much I've changed now and that makes me happy that I never shared that with him because he doesn't need to know my pain and how I feel. Because if he cared to, he would still be around.

    I learnt that during a break up, you have to LOVE YOURSELF before you expect someone to love you. Your ex probably already knows that you are sad. You don't need to confirm it for him and stroke his ego, so he knows that someone other there is thinking about him. Please put yourself first at this time. YOU OWE HIM NOTHING! Not a call or a return call, nothing. You owe it to YOURSELF to know your worth. This may take time and the more time you spend appreciating what you have, the more you'll think less of what you don't have. "Time heals all" and "it is better to have loved, than to not love at all"... There are people in life that are brought to you, who are not meant for you to keep. These people are the ones that teach you the lessons in life. You may not feel like it now, but your a survivor and this will only make you stronger.

    Learn from this relationship and don't make baggage for yourself with it comes to the next relationship.

    I hope this helped. Good luck to you.

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    • Thanks that means a lot.

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    • When he ended the call. He said he was meeting up with some friends from Katy. I suppose it is friends I have never met. I didn't ask who. I didn't want to be jealous if it were a group of girls or if it was just a girl. I've just got to face it. He's going to be in the coast guard without me. He is going to be in Texas and I'm going to be in Illinois. I most likely will not ever seem face to face again. I hate knowing that someday those feelings are going to fade forever. And we'll

    • Become completely different people. He was my first love. I really truly feel things could have worked out between us. It's too late now. He wont' ever want me back. And if he did, a lot of things would have to change. He doesn't love me like he used to love me, unless he is just hiding it back. I wish I could just tell him everything, and just ask him everything but I don't know I might as well, get it over with and then go on with my life. Or not. I don't know.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • You need to change how you view this.

    This is not about you, it is about him. He is the one who lied and did not live upto his promise. He is the one with the character disorder. You should be feeling sorry for him, that he is sub-human. He is the one who will never find someone who truly loves him. He is the one with so much unhappiness inside, that he can not love. Pray for his happiness.

    There is not much to think about yourself. You behaved nobly. You trusted (as humans should). You know how to love. Civilizations are built on this.

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    • Totally agree with this guy. would have never thought of it that way but it makes sense. Don't beat yourself up about it.

    • Awww the answer makes people to hold on to their beliefs in love. that's just cute

    • Nenemomo, you are too young to be so cynical.

  • Michelle, that's heart-wrenching. But better you know now, than after marriage.

    Thank you for sharing your most intimate feelings.

    Ted

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  • Looks like you better forget about him, based on his lack of interest in responding to your calls. >>> How to forget an ex? link

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  • hey I was wondering how your doing? I'm know I'm a little late to this situation and things are already happening but maybe you could fill me in. the fact of the matter is I'm dealing with something of the same, me and my ex had a three year relationship I didn't even make it through the 1st two days after I broke up with her without calling she's p*ssed and I'm only on day nine! so don't feel to bad maybe you could update me I think I could help give a outsider guys prospective or something I don't know post something else if you'd like thatd be cool

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    • Why did you call your ex 2 days later is you broke up with her? I'm in the same situation where a guy breaks up with me... and then a week later texts me, "I can still give you your birthday present if you want". Oook... I told him, "sure that'd be great" and then he made plans with me and changed them. All I can think of is what an a-hole for breaking up with me, reconnecting with me, and then breaking up with me again.

  • If you ever do send this, it's You're awful not "your awful"

    Why not send it? Not that he even cares but you never know maybe somewhere in the back of his mind he'll stop and think "I'm a douche"... you never know.

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    • I talked to him recently. He kept on referring to himself as an asshole. So I don't know. He never apologized... (It would have been nice if he did.) It would actually be nice if he was still into me, but he's not. He just wants to be friends, well that is what I asked for first. He signed himself to another 2 years to Texas, so the hopes of getting back to together are slim to none. I think I would need a miracle, of some sort, not a letter. Thanks for the spelling advice. though. : )

    • On tthe bright side of my break up at least I can practice my lovely writing skills. lol...... Maybe one day out of this whole mess, my story, can help someone else. Maybe. I hope all my writing not only helps me but isn't a total waste of time.

  • Hell, chelle, glad ya saw the light... just learn from it, and make sure you never let that happen again.

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  • I tried sitting down and writing my feelings down once. Got so damned depressed I almost cut my wrists! Tore it up and went out and got a beer and felt MUCH better!

    Sheesh.

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What Girls Said 15

  • Girl!

    You are amazing for even writing your feelings out!

    A bad birthday, huh? Oh man, I had a break up for my 19th, 20th and 22nd birthday (the universe cut me some slack for number "21"). It really sucks. I mean, the word "suck" doesn't even scratch the surface. I feel your pain. You're a TROOPER though for expressing how you feel on this site and for NOT sending him this letter. Him blocking your number is mean... but it simply exemplifies what you discussed in your letter. Trust me, you will find a man who means what he says and who loves and respects you. Until then work on healing from this guy's nasty presence in your life (I'm referring to the break up. Naturally you must have had great times with him. Don't dwell on that stuff though!).

    Try not to call this dude again (though if you do, don't worry about it. Just pick yourself up and keep moving!). He does not deserve a phone call from you! He doesn't deserve the opportunity to listen to your lovely voice!

    I would say "you're going to be fabulous" but you ALREADY are!

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  • dont send the letter ever, keep it as a memory of how you felt at this point...

    Someday you will be over this and come across this letter and think of how great you are without him in your life.

    Its just wasent meant to Be so let him go. contacting him over and over isn't gunna help at all.

    dont call him or text him or anything, he doesn't deserve the effort or time.

    you should be getting over him now, if he comes back an dyou still want him then so be it. if he doesn't then just let go..

    if you love something, set it free.

    if its comes back then it was meant to be.

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  • michelle,

    Your young, and you still have plenty of time to find Mr. Right.

    Move on from it. Think of it as a bump in the road, and you swerved around it, and got back on the highway just fine without crashing your car.

    Theres plenty of fish out in the sea for you sweetheart :) Make life joyable, and hell.. listen to sublime! that band will make you feel happy when your down, and you should be back on your feet in no time! :D

    Ky

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    • Haha my friend sublime is good advice. thanks.

  • Omg that letter is deep...i think you should definately send it. Its crazy cause that letter sounds like my situation...had a guy tell me he liked me...wanted to be with me, and everything, and now he's changed..and its all about him, and I don't matter anymore. You gotta stay strong girl...thats what I'm trying to do right now. Its hard...i hate it. But time heals every wound. <3

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    • Thanks, but everything I read about letters and sending them to your ex, seem like they all end up like bad ideas.

      I sent him one through the mail, not e-mail just a few days after we broke up, and didn't get a response. I think I just pushed him farther away. I'm most likely not going to send it. But thanks for your advice. It always feels good to know that your not the only one going through something like this.

  • i think that's a really sweet thing. I would send it if the relationship ended on good terms

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  • Send it! I wrote a letter to an ex before. It was similar in that I told him exactly how I felt. I so wish I would have sent it. I love the ending with the name not capitalized. That`s perfect. Send it, send it, send it!

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  • aww sweetie! Keep your head up and you will find someone worth loving and who will return that love ten fold!

    it'll be okay, I promise!

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  • How you doing now?

    My ex is worse! (I mean WORSE!). He broke up with me at about the same time, like one month ago. And he is being a &#^%^$@&^%&^$*&^@$# a-hole! I told him how pathetic &stupid he is for him still thinking I know nothing about him and his "female friends" and for him still saying I was the one changed and lied! He still wants to friend with me... What a jerk!

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    • Well to be honest, I talked to him a about 17 days ago. I made him talk to me. He led me to believe that we would still talk on a weekly basis but not to get my hopes up. Trust me he didn't mean it. I Facebook messaged him lol, got no response. I called him one last time to get my final answer. It was a long distance relationship and I needed to know if we would ever talk again, and he said we would. Now I just feel like blocking him, and having all my friends do the same.

    • My friend allison told me that would be a bad idea. She said she still liked knowing what her exes are doing. She still stayed friends with her ex, but the difference there is, all of her exes would take her back in a second. Mine, not so much. I'm never going to see my ex again. I feel like if I just had no way of looking him up, or him look me up, we could just move on finally for good. I could stop looking what he is up too. I might be sad for a minute, but forget him slowly.

    • Yeah, we have to move on and forget about them. You know sometimes some guys don't want to make things clearly... so he will have many options to explain everything he said or did. Don't give him chance or the second chance, because he would think there will be hundreds more chances waiting for him. Block him, don't see him if you think it's the right thing to do. To me, there is no point to keep touching if he is acting like this. Well it's just my own opinion.

  • i know I am late on this submission, but you wrote what is on my heart now. I hope you are doing better and in a better place.

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  • I would send it...

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  • How are you doing now?

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    • I ended up talking to him one last time, the day before Christmas. It is most likely the last time I will ever talk to him. I needed things finalized but got the same answers in the end. He told me he doesn't want "no contact forever". That was one of the questions I asked him. Unfortunately I ended up sounding desperate, and sad, still wanting him. It just felt like we were breaking up all over again. But he said he still wanted to know what was up in my life, how my family was etc. etc.

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    • At his profile, I can't do it. My friend allison said I would be upset if I did this. But in reality I think we would be able to forget each other this way. Why be friends with a Facebook profile and not the person? I'm not getting anything out of it. I haven't done anything like this yet, but I think it would help me move on. Allison ended up telling me it would be like he died, but in reality it feels like that. In reality, I'm never going to see him again. Were not talking.

    • And I don't think we are going to start anytime soon, or ever for that matter. I still think of him often although I wish I didn't. I'm fine otherwise. I have a date on Thursday. I'll just have to see how it goes. The first date with this other date wasn't totally awesome, but I'm going to give it another shot.

  • Wow, this is exactly how I feel. I hope you are doing better since this, I know that after reading this, definitely has made me feel better. I do not blame myself as much as I did before.

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  • amen sister <3

    i have nothing else to say I'm touched by this and I'm sure all girls are.

    wish you all the best =]

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  • wow -------

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    • Don't worry, I'm not sending it. I'm not sure what your response means, but yeah, it is kind of a dumb letter, I wrote just to reflect and not talk to him about us. Word pad, is the 20 century journal that is to pen and paper.

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    • I was with him for nearly 7 years, it has been 6 months, the last two months I've really felt better, thinking about it I feel really good, but my god, I was sick as a pig the first three months. never felt anything like the prolonged unescapable agony. COmpletely not myself. Even now I miss him, and I still catch myself thinking of him and making excuses for him giving up on me in what seemed like just three months, I went into a bit of a depression. But I do actually feel good none the less.

    • That is a long time. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope everything works out for the best for you.

  • dont sen this letter you will show ur self up honestly y are you sending this to sum1 hu sed they dnt want to b with you to b honest if you jst ignored him there's mre chance of him cumn bk becos he will think you dnt care by sending this letter he will noe if you want him just tell him dnt send letters its silly if he broke it off with you this letter will not change his mind he will just feel sorry or just think ur a cling just tell him you still like him if he made you feel so small y are you riting this letter lool sorrie but its just going to mke you look to easy if I boi didn't want me id just forget them even if I did like them I would end up not caring wen you think abwt the bad things abwt that person its a nice letter but just dnt send looks like you like him to muchhhhh..

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    • I'm not sending it to him. I just kind of wrote something down, if I couldn't share it with him, I share with other people who don't care or might care. Dont' worry about it. I'm not sending it, nor am I calling him, or have since the break up.

    • My bad lool

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