Recently got out of a abusive relationship, please help?

Me and my ex (call him E), met a year ago and were very good friends. When he broke up with his ex, we took things to a new level a romantic level. It was so perfect, he was the most amazing gentleman. Then all of a sudden he switched, he started calling me horrible names, then saying he didn't mean it. Of course I retaliated for a few days. But after that, I stopped retailiating and I just let him carry on until I got so mad I cut up my sim card just to get some peace. It worked, after I got a new sim we sat down to talk and we sorted out our differences, he admitted his issues and we moved on, he quit his job as he said it was the cause of his stress. Anyway, it was all happy and dandy until it starts again... and again.. and again. Everyday he's constantly grating at me calling me a whore and telling me im worthless (I feel ashamed because I told him that I have slept with a few guys). He would switch from vbeing amazing to being horrible again.. mostly when we werent together. He wouldn't be mean in public, he would be the perfect man. I felt as if he had a split persona or something. My sister wasn't happy I was talking to him again and he said to me if i didn't tell her he would leave, so i did. as soon as i told her he started downing me again.. so I got so mad that I was trying to defend he sometimes nice character, that I told him to not contact me, hung up and went to sleep. HE then proceeded to send me 6 text messages explaining how much he wants to 'punch my teeth in' if i go near him again.. After this, I swiftly changed my number and went on to continue my life, I stupidly phoned him on private caller because I needed to talk to him about some things he had at my house.. He proceeded to then call me names and say to me the only reason he threatened me (which he apologised for - as if that makes a difference lol) is because he's sexually frustarted? wtf. anyway. We ended the phone call amicably, he doesn't have my new number and nobody he knows does, but I find myself really lost without him and really sad that I can't talk to him.. despite the bad stuff,, he was my best friend. Please help.. I dont want to be associated with him anymore..


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He is a narcissist who found the perfect victim, a woman with low self-esteem and opinion of herself. You feel ashamed because you have slept with a few guys? You call someone your best friend who abuses you? Your lost and sad without someone who demeans you, calls you horrible names, etc? You need to seek out professional help. That's the answer. First, for your self-esteem issues and secondly, to get help with getting your brain re-wired from the damage this guy has done to your psyche. I wish I had more to offer you than that, but there's really nothing else, besides call on your family and friends - especially your sister. Tell her you are trying to get away from this guy but need help. Ask her to be available for you to call and talk you through it when you might have the urge to call him, call her instead. When you start to think of him, do not under any circumstances think about the few "amazing" things he did or said (which he didn't really mean, I promise you that, it was just a ploy in his game to mess with your head), think about all of the horrible things and tell yourself how much you hate him. Keep a notebook and write it down each time if you have to, and then read it back to yourself. You have to take back control of your own brain, thoughts and emotions. Good luck, I wish you the best!

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    • Thank you so much for this answer.. it helped a lot x

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What Guys Said 3

  • simply ignore him and block him from everywhere!

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  • Cut him off completely. Nothing good will ever com if you being with him or having any contact with him. Also, it would be a good idea to get some therapy. Because if you don't get help you need, you might wind up with another guy just like him at some point.

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  • Did you have an emotionally/physically abusive, absent or sometime father?

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What Girls Said 1

  • cut him off!

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