My boyfriend ended things, but wants to be friends. Says in a month or so we can begin seeing each other only as friends. Is there any hope?

He basically says I need time to get over my romantic feelings for him, but knows I am going through a lot in my life right now and wants to help me through it in about a month or so. Says he cares very much for me but can not be here with me during this time while I figure out what it is I need to. I miss him so much but agreed to his feelings. I will wait for him to reach out first. Then on the night of our break up, he contradicted himself and mentioned a party we both have tickets to go to next week, saying we should go together. I don't know what to do! I have been working on myself every day and trying to remain positive. I signed up for some stress management classes so that I can get help learn the tools to not take my stresses out on others. He is aware of this as well. He also told me he is not interested in dating anyone else, and won't be for a long time, but that I still need to not wait for him hoping we will get back together when we see each other again. Is there a chance that if I can in fact make big changes in my behavior that he will come back around? Im thinking to just date someone new and let him see. He knew I was working on changing myself to help us both as best as I could and he still left me.

Updates:
Hope/good chance just sort of suck. Would it hurt things if he saw me with a new lover? I seriously thought he was perfect for me but to leave me at such a low point? and say we can talk in a month only as "friends"? What does he expect. I feel like everything he said he was just speaking how he felt at the MOMENT. We hung out way too much and I didn't know how to set boundaries for myself. I have learned a lot in the classes I have begun and books I am reading.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Girl, he would date someone if he had found one so don't hang on it. You just focus on yourself and get a guy even though you don't feel like doing it. Go out hang out have fun. Don't pursue. He ended it unilaterally so it should be his idea to rekindle things. Trust me there are so many pleaser guys (more than 90% in the world) those would cave in for you and help you evaporate those hard feelings. Don't ever text him for ANYTHING. You do what you do and get better and learn to live without him. THIS is the best thing you can do for either getting him back or getting someone better which is WIN or WIN situation. Promise me that you don't go with your Hollywood lovestory-filled heart and do some nonsense romantic shit. Good luck.

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    • Thats what I'm thinking. That he's just saying this at the point of the break up. Yeah Im moving on.
      I haven't heard from him since then and we hung out every day and he isn't able to see how that may have been the problem. Too much too soon. If he really cared he would still be in my life.

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    • He was taking up all of my time and I couldn't do MY life, so now Im going back.

    • Good, remember not to hate on him, it's just him not being able to see what you had in your hand to offer. You are a catch, he can't see it. His loss. No hates. He gave you all those good memories.

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What Guys Said 1

  • there's always hope :)

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    • How long before a guy starts missing someone enough to reach back out to them?

    • I don't know... diff for everyone.. could be anywhere from a few days to months or years

What Girls Said 2

  • there is a chance!

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  • Tbh I had this problem and I have one now that's even worse. Bc I think my boyfriend is hiding a secret. Mine said all these things only bc he wanted someone else. And tbh feelings don't go away that easily from a relationship no matter how long. He's probably hurting as much inside as well. Stay strong things will work out x

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    • I feel like I should just move on ASAP. Thats so fucked up of you're boyfriend. If you can find out if he is I would say do it.

      I think my feelings can go away with a new lover and work. He is the one unemployed and saying he isn't interested in anyone else. Good luck to him seriously. Now Im pissed off.

    • Honestly there's a messaging sevice I use in England to help me find out what he's doing. It's legit and it's the best idea ever.. were still together. But I'm finding out more before I make any rash moves. Clearly you have you're head screwed on right so he'll be back BEGGING for you back!! Xx

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