I got rid of my ex girl who was playing mind games with me.

Well my ex girlfriend ended things with me about a month ago because she said she was just to busy after going out for about 5 months. After that she still kept on contacting me all the time calling, texting and wanting to see me. We fooled around a little in that time which really confused me because we were still attracted to one another still as well but it was like she wanted me around when she wanted me. It was very one sided and confusing. Recently she wanted me over all last week and was talking to me all the time, then she started to faze off a little because I knew she was sick but I took it personal. So I ended it with a stupid text, to not bother to get hold of me and I decided to end this. Now she is saying that I never trusted her now, but I really didn't know where I was in her life the last while. She said to never contact her again. I'm thinking she is very upset with this. Should I try to email her to explain that I always trusted her but I really didn't know where I stood in her lifeor just leave this? We where really good friends and I miss her I know we still have feelings for each other, it was just confusing.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi, I think you did the right thing. And I don't think you should bother going back. Its all part of the mind game. She is making you feel like you have done something wrong so you go back.

    My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me the day after my birthday. out of the blue because he was not ready and needed time. But he wanted me to wait for him. (while he goes and has a life) And I took it really hard.

    we had been on and off all the time and we only spent time together when it was right for him. I was blinded by him. Living in a fantisy. I never gave him a reason not to trust me, I was always there, never went out, had zero friends (because he didn't like when I went out but it was ok for him too) I put my life on hold to be there for him and to do what he wanted me to. But never got the same back. It was a very emotionaly abusive relationship, but I just kept falling into his mind games and kept going back. he would twist things around so I felt bad and felt like I had done something wrong and then I would run back to him.

    Just today he asked me to borrow my car, and I said yes to help him out. When I picked him up he was cold and did not say much. I asked why and he said because he doesn't trust me. and he does not have anything to say to people he doesn't trust. then he claimed he broke up with me because he did not trust me.

    And this time.. I did not cave in. I had lost so much respect for my self by being submissive and giving into him for too long. So I stood up for my self and said, if you don't trust me that's your problem and your own Insecurities, I have never given you a reason not to trust me. You can beleive what you want. you left me with nothing and no one, so I am going to look out for number one and try work on my life.

    We have only been broken up a week, but in that week I have learnt more about my self than ever. I had very low self esteem and being in that relationship was seriously killing me, but I didn't want it to end because I did not want to be alone, and I really did care for him. but I do not want to live a life, miserable and with no respect for myself and with someone who really does not seem to care about me.

    I think you need to make a decision. once you make up your mind you can start moving forward instead of living in limbo. I understand how much it hurts. How much it hurts to be commited to someone that does not seem the same. He was a great friend to me too and it hurts that its like this, But I think it wold hurt more and for longer if I did not decide to move on from this. but for now I have to walk away and work on myself because I trully deserve better. and at least in time it will get better, but if I was still in that limbo. . . I just don't know where I would be.

    So please just think about what is going to make you happy. I know its hard now because you care about her alot, but is it worth being miserable and being accused of things that are not true? and the torturous mind games?

    • Wow, this made me cry reading this you know, cause I can really relate to your situation not knowing where you stand being strung along like this. You really do learn about your self in time when you are away from them, don't you. I can't wait till I can heal and be free again and happy, I wish the same for you too!! She emailed me the other day saying she is hurting right now that I did this to her. People who are in a relationship can't be friends, I know now, it never works. I hope you heal.

    • Hey ya,

      yeah its like the saying "you can't see the forest when your in the trees" When your so blinded and minipulated you don't really see things for how they really are. And when you take that step back you start to notice all the things people were trying to tell you. Thanks and I hope it gets better for you too and you figure out what you want to do about it. I guess ill be ok, just need to stick to my guns, ride it out and not fall into any traps again. Its all part of getting stronger. X

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well you didn't set up your boundaries properly. She broke up with you so if she made her decision why does she get to change her mind and you have to succumb to her beck and call? By your actions she realized that she could break up with you, hurt you and get away with it. So you stood up for yourself, and then she uses the guilty card so make you feel like you did something wrong. Well trust me you didn't. SHE is the one that broke up with you and made her decision and look at it this way...you gave her a second chance and now she screwed up again. I would stick to your decision. I guarantee you if you ignore her little guilty game she will come begging back for you but you HAVE to stick to no contact.

    • Thank-you she said to not contact her again after I told her I was done.javascript:SlideIt('AddComment628005');

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