21 and single again?

I just got out of a 4 year relationship because I found out he cheated on me. I haven't been single since high school and I know this is crazy but I can't help think I'm so old now. I know that's stupid and I know I'm still so young. But I just feel like it's going to take a long time to develop another relationship and I told myself I can't get into another one until I'm happy being single and it's for the right reasons. I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to be single again and someone to tell me I'm not old and dried up.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I'm 23 and very single, so I think you're okay :P

    You're not old, you're not dried up, you're actually quite young. I playfully use the term "baby adult." Now, as a baby adult you are entering a time in your life with many transitions that can range from last years of college, graduating, jobs, internships, etc. All of these things are about fulfilling you as an individual.

    To be single and happy? Look for things that make you happy. What makes you just awesome? What enlivens you? That is where you can allow yourself to grow even more as an individual, toward your future goals. And as you continue to grow and be involved in things you love, eventually you'll cross paths with someone who also is headed in the same direction, and things will just click.

    So first, you need to allow yourself to move toward the path toward your growth. The goal isn't a significant other, the goal is for you to keep growing into the awesome, amazing you, and along the way, find someone who encourages you to grow toward that self.

    Also, be gentle on yourself :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • You're 21, and you're still young :) Don't worry about it. I've always felt this way when I was in my early 20s, but now that I'm 24, there were some experiences I had that made me realize it's okay to be single! I've always been single, I'm learning not to try so hard anymore! You'll find the right one for you!

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  • Finally a girl who is single:) haha

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What Girls Said 2

  • Let me tell you something, I know it hurts but the pain you feel right now is temporary. No matter how long it takes you'll get over him. You loved once you will love again. You will fall in love so many times in life you won't believe it's possible to even love like that. You spent the last 4 years having your best interest and his at heart and everything you did was for the benefit of you two. Now that you're single focus on you, be selfish for once and make yourself the priority. He cheated so he is not worth your time. Life goes on. Be brave and fabulous 💋

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  • You'll be fine, you just need to refind yourself

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