Ahhhhh I don't know what to do with my ex-girlfriend?

After talking on the phone recently, my ex and I met up to talk today for the first time in 2 months. We talked for a while and caught up with each others lives, there was no tension in our convo at all. She looked amazing, I always thought she looked like the most beautiful thing in the world. Then it was time to get serious. I came to tell her that being friends wouldn't work for me. I told her that I still have strong feelings for her, and want to be nothing but her lover. She told me how sorry she was for breaking up with me and that she still really loves me. Then we held hands for a bit, then started to kiss. I was not expecting that to happen at all, but the way we were looking into each others eyes, something was going to happen. We stopped a few times saying this was a terrible idea, but then quickly continued. So then I asked her again what she wanted, to either be together or move on from each other without friends, because I can't be friends with someone I still love and have feelings for. She kept answering that she doesn't know. She told me that last time she was scared because she knows my whole family And it felt like she had no choice but to marry me eventually. I told her that I was never trying to marry her, just have a healthy relationship because I know all her family too. She told me that she would like to take things slow, if we were to try again, no boyfriend girlfriend label on it, and just start to hang out more often. I told her I understand but I want all or nothing, I want to be in a relationship with her, or starting moving on. She told me she needed time to think. I then drove her to her friends house in a panic because we were looking at each other and making out randomly the whole time. Even though she put me through so much shit at the end of our relationship I still really love and care for her. I'm trying to tell her firmly that I want to be with her, but I don't want to be too pushy, or come off as desparate. Any advice for now?

Updates:
She also texted me tonight later on saying Hey. I'm not sure if she wants to talk but I was out and wasn't sure if I should respond. I'd like to try and catch her at a good time, but don't want to seem at her service now either. I was debating texting her back and just wanted to stop over thinking so I responded with Hey. What should I do next? Any advice?

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What Girls Said 1

  • You did the right thing by saying all or nothing. It's not fair on you to give your all only to be with someone who has no idea what they want. It sounds like your ex is conflicted and has a lot to figure out so it's best that you give her the time she said she needs to think about it. If you compromise I guarantee you that you will only get hurt. If you want her this bad as it is then it's going to be terrible to be in a "in between" phase so stick to your guns. She either wants you or she doesn't. If she doesn't then move on.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You did the right things. I think we've all been in this situation at some point, if we're old enough and have enough experience.

    It's hard. I'd straight-up ask if she wants to fuck. That may or may not fly. If she does, cool. You can be buds until you decide it's not working even on a physical-only basis.

    If you're looking to have a real bf/gf relationship with her, I'd say abandon it. It doesn't bode well. If she comes crawling back at some point, with newly clarified views, you can consider it. (And that happens ALL. THE. TIME.) Otherwise it sounds like a recipe for dissatisfaction, and it's guaranteed to divert you from finding a real partner who won't play games.

    I know it's a difficult situation. Can be downright miserable. Sex can help. :) Otherwise, bid her adieu.

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